Hello there :)
So as you can see, my entries have been pretty sparse as of late. I am amazed at how busy my summer has been despite the fact that I'm not working. It gets a little exhausting at times, especially since I'm just not feeling as mentally sharp as I used to, but I am enjoying myself.
My 22nd birthday was last Saturday and I had a very eventful weekend of celebration. Friday night my family, Dan and I went out to my favorite restaurant, La Toltecca, for birthday dinner. Then we came back to my house for cake. Normally I ask for hot milk sponge cake, but this year I decided to do something different and just asked for a plain vanilla cake with vanilla ice cream. Not the most unique choice, but it was deeeelicious. Mom put some red food coloring into the homemade icing and decorated the cake with pink drizzles. Yum yum :)
On Saturday, Dan took me out to brunch. That was an interesting experience. Everyone always asks me if my wig has ever fallen off on its own out in public. Up until my birthday, it never had. haha! We were seated outside and the sun was pretty bright, so Dan got up to adjust the umbrella above our table. When he went to sit back down he accidentally bumped my head and sent the wig flying. Needless to say I got some pretty strange looks from the people seated next to us. Dan quickly scooped up the wig and I put it back on. I was cracking up. I know Dan felt bad, but it really wasn't a big deal.
I was pretty exhausted when we got back from brunch, so I napped for a few hours before hitting the road to see my roommates up in New Jersey for Annette's graduation party. I got up there kind of late, but thankfully the party was still in full swing. Annette's family is so much fun! They had a birthday cake for me in addition to Annette's graduation cake :) We went swimming in their pool in the back yard, played with Annette's adorable Bichon Frises, and ate tons of food. The next day we all went out to breakfast at a diner (how very Jersey of us). All the waiters had the exact same weird spiked hairdo...perhaps some sort of north Jersey trend? I got pancakes, which were delicious. We all went back to Annette's house where she presented us with our graduation gifts: framed pictures of the 5 of us roommates. One picture was from the first month of senior year and the other picture was from graduation day. I love them!! After saying goodbyes to my friends and Annette's family, I headed back to Delaware.
That night Dan's family invited me over for some corn on the cob (arguably my favorite summer meal) and burgers. They decorated my chair at the table with birthday balloons and gave me a gift card to Accent Music! I am heading over there today to pick out some new sheet music for my piano. Dan also got me a brand new book of Classical Favorites for the piano. I am working on learning Moonlight Sonata and Chopin's Raindrop. Raindrop is Dan's favorite piece and I have always wanted to learn Moonlight Sonata. I am enjoying having my new piano so much :) I haven't been able to play in years since my old one sort of died, and now I'm finally getting back into it. It's been very therapeutic for me. I just wish I had more time to sit and really work on the new pieces I have.
On Tuesday I had round 4 of chemo. Yeesh. What a long day that was. I got to the hospital at 9am and didn't leave until 6pm. I had a CT scan in the morning followed by a chest x-ray, then my meeting with Dr. G, and finally 4 hours of chemo. Everything went smoothly, aside from a few computer system glitches thanks to the darn apostrophe in my last name. They can never seem to find me in the system no matter how many times I register for things. Oh well.
The CT scan was fine, but the nurse forgot to tell me when it was OK to breathe, so I was laying there holding my breath for a really long time before I finally gave up and just started breathing normally. haha. Probably my least favorite part of the day was having to drink all of that yucky barium sulfate. They gave me a berry flavored jug of it first and then a citrus one, but neither really hid the grossness of the barium well enough. I was gagging them down. Ugh. I have to get another CT scan next time, and I'm really not looking forward to more barium. It's not even appealing to look at. It's white and chalky and awful. But if I chug it quickly, it's not too bad.
My appointment with Dr. G went well. I am continuing to gain weight, despite my best efforts. I really hate that aspect of this treatment. No matter how well I try to eat or how much I try to exercise, I seem to be ballooning up like a tick! I have gained about 15 pounds since the start of my treatment, which is pretty depressing for a 22-year-old girl who is also bald. haha But I guess gaining too much is better than losing too much. Dr. G said my weight gain is a side effect of the steroids that I'm on, and my weight should return to normal once I'm done treatment. That could take a while though because steroids can remain in the body for up to a year. Good grief.
Reviewing my CT scan, I was finally able to see a detailed image of the progress of my tumor since my first scan back in May. I have lost all but a small mass that remains in the center of my chest. Based on its appearance, Dr. G believes it is likely to be only scar tissue, but we can't be sure until my next appointment when I will get at PET scan. The PET scan will show us if there are any cancerous cells remaining in my body. If there are, I will probably be headed for the stem cell transplant.
With regard to the transplant, I had a very interesting phone conversation with a girl named Amy who is from Kentucky and was matched with me through the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Amy was 25 when she was diagnosed with diffuse large B-cell NHL, and has now been in remission for 2 years after receiving chemo and a stem cell transplant. We were shocked to discover that there were many bizarre similarities between us. Both of us had tumors that covered our chest cavity and crushed our left lungs. Her lung had completely collapsed, while mine was about 3/4 collapsed. She was stage 4 though because cancerous fluid had already leaked into her lung. Mine thankfully had not.
Amy explained that she opted to do the stem cell transplant because her doctors said it would up her chances of being totally cured from about 50-60% to 80%. Based on how far along her cancer was at diagnosis, she was at high risk for relapsing and was thus a good candidate for a stem cell transplant. I am sort of in the same boat. Getting a transplant would clean my body out of all my old white blood cells and replace them with young healthy stem cells, but it comes at a hefty price. There is a mortality risk of 3%-30% depending on whether you receive your own cells or donor cells. I would be receiving my own, so the risk is lessened. The bigger problem is that after receiving the high doses of chemo involved with the transplant, it is unlikely that I would ever be able to have my own children....::sigh:: That always seems to be the way with this treatment. It's a constant weighing of risks and choosing the lesser of two evils.
For Amy, getting the transplant appears to have been the best course of action. She was hospitalized for 3 weeks and was out of commission for about a month after she returned home, but she has been cancer-free since. She told me to plan on taking about 2 months out of my life if I decide to go ahead with it, which would mean I would have to defer law school until next year. The school does not allow first year students to start in the spring, so I would lose an entire year of courses. I won't know if I am going to go to law school or have to get the transplant until my next chemo appointment, which falls just a few days before my first day of orientation at Widener. So as of now, things are just hanging in the balance. I am hopeful that I will not need the transplant, but I am also worried about the possibility of relapsing and having to go through all of this again if I don't get it. Decisions decisions...
Since I don't know yet if I am going to get this transplant or not, I have been moving forward as though I will be attending school full-time in a few weeks. Dad and I have been contacting the Dean regularly to update her on the situation, and I have already received homework, readings to prepare, and my class schedule in the mail. If I start, I will be taking 4 courses for a total of 15 credits. I will have 2 classes a day every day except Wednesdays when I have 3 and weekends. Orientation is set to begin on August 14th. Aaaah!! Time is running out and there is so much I still want to do this summer.
Thankfully I was able to book my birthday trip with Dan to Gettysburg, PA. Dan is paying for us to spend 2 nights at a beautiful farmhouse bed and breakfast located 9 miles from Gettysburg near the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains. I spoke with the innkeeper on the phone yesterday and she sounded so nice! Our trip is scheduled for August 6-8, and we plan to explore the historic battlefields, go on a ghost tour, and maybe do some hiking or bike-riding while we're there (or perhaps even horse-back-riding?? we shall see). I can't wait!
Anyway, it's time for me to run to the post office and get some things done. I have been trying to get birthday thank-yous in the mail and working on presents for my roommates which I am finally sending out today. I made them mix CD's of all of our favorite songs from this year. I think they turned out pretty cute. Tonight I am going up to Philly with 3 of my friends to see my favorite band, Guster, in concert at Penn's Landing and go out to dinner at Dave & Buster's. It should be a great time.
Lots of love to everyone :)
Lauren
Friday, July 27, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
overdue update
aaah I can't believe I let 10 days go by without an update! That's pretty bad. I suppose it's a good thing though, because it means I've been busy having fun and staying active.
I can't remember exactly what order I did any of these things in, so I'm just going to kind of randomly summarize the past week and a half.
I ended up getting to see fireworks at Dan's house on the Friday after the 4th of July. In keeping with tradition, the Mahler men set off a series of small explosives in the driveway while Kathleen, Mrs. Mahler and I watched. It was a lot of fun. After visiting with Dan for a bit, I headed down to Trolley Square for a drink with my friends at Catherine Rooney's pub. We had a nice time and I saw a ton of people I knew from high school and grade school. That's Delaware for you!
On Saturday, Dan and I went up to West Chester for Dan Farrell's graduation party. Farrell was Dan's roommate for nearly all 4 years when he was at Millersville. His family has a beautiful home with a pool and hot tub that sits on a fairly big plot of land, so we enjoyed a night of swimming, football, tons of food, and good times chatting with Dan's friends from MU. It was great seeing all of them again.
Monday night I went out to dinner at Kelly's Logan House with Meggie and Caitlyn, who I haven't seen since high school. We had such a good time! Caitlyn was one of my best friends back in the day when I attended IHM, and I think we picked up right where we left off. Hopefully I'll see her again soon. I think I've said this already, but I really am grateful for the way being sick has sort of helped me reconnect with friends I've lost touch with over the years. I suppose cancer is the kick in the pants that I needed to pick up the phone and see how my old friends are doing.
Tuesday I hung out with Dan. We saw Transformers, which was pretty good for an action movie. I thought the romance part was a little cheesy though. We went to Friendly's after the movie and got ice cream and dinner.
Wednesday Amy came over and we went out to lunch with Keen. I took them to Bon Appetite since I enjoyed it so much when Jenny took me there a few weeks ago. We had a nice lunch and chatted about our years growing up in Deerhurst where Amy was our neighbor across the street. I can't believe how long ago that was. It makes me feel very old seeing how much all of the neighborhood kids have grown up!
Thursday I drove down to Baltimore to see Kelli, Janine, Lindsay and Susan. Kelli Larson was my boss at the Alcohol and Drug Education office at Loyola. She was also the adviser to the Alcohol and Drug Education Team, which Janine, Susan and I were student coordinators for. We had a deliiicious dinner at a Cuban restaurant called Little Havana. It was right on the harbor in Federal Hill, and our table was outside overlooking the water! I got crab quesadillas (and Susan did too...we always have the same taste! haha). We had such a good time catching up. Kelli made me cupcakes for my birthday (which is this Saturday) and brought me a bag of my favorite candies. Yum! Kelli has been a great friend and mentor to us, and is someone that I truly admire. She is due to have her first baby in September, so I was really excited to see her and hear all about her progress. I can't wait to meet baby Larson in the fall when he or she arrives :)
After dinner I drove down to Annapolis where Susan lives and spent the night at her house. I got to meet her adorable golden retrievers, Josh and Ben. I think I definitely want to have a dog some day...and a cat...and a horse...haha. But anyway, it was fun getting to visit her home and I slept like a baby!
The next day I drove to Fenwick beach in lower Delaware to see Meggie and Kristen at Meggie's family's beach house. The house sits right on an inlet and we all sat out on the porch and had margaritas and a delicious taco casserole dinner that I loved (I am a huge fan of anything Mexican). After dinner, Meggie's boyfriend Joe arrived and we drove down to Ocean City, MD (which is about 10 minutes away) to go to a beach club/bar/restaurant called Seacrets. This place was nuts! I can't imagine how much money this business makes in one night, because it's absolutely humongous. Seacrets sits right on the beach and has many different sections within it. There is a beach club, a night club, an ocean bar that sits right in the water and has inner tubes and tables where you can be served drinks, a dock where boats can come and get dinner and drinks, a beach restaurant, tons of different bars all made to look like beach huts, two stages featuring different live bands, rooms with different DJ's playing everything from 80s to techno to hiphop to reggae, and tons of food stands selling pizza, funnel cake, etc. Needless to say we had a GREAT time there. I was DD, so I only had one drink, but it was delicious! I tried the "Pain in de Ass", the club's signature drink. It was a pina colada/rum runner swirled together. I also ordered fries and we sat out on the beach restaurant surrounded by palm trees and tons of tiki torches. It felt like we were in the Caribbean! We all had a great time dancing too.
After spending the night at Meggie's, we spent the day laying out on the beach. It was perfect weather and the water was nice and warm. At dinner time we headed up to the Rehobeth boardwalk for some pizza and ice cream. I drove home that night and went over to the Levine's where Dan was dog-sitting. They have a golden retriever named Scout. He was so cute! He climbed right in my lap on the couch and watched tv with us. haha
Dan came over last night for dinner and we went to Rita's for water ice and then watched Big Brother with my parents. They are obsessed with that show. I think it's pretty ridiculous.
Anyway, that's what has been going on with me. Aside from being sick, I'm having a great summer. I am doing my best to use my time wisely and enjoy this work-free summer as much as possible. I've been feeling great and exercising a lot to try to take off some of the weight I've gained from the Prednisone. Dr. G said I'm allowed to exercise as long as I don't do anything crazy. I'm also trying to eat healthier, although I may not do too well this week with my birthday coming up on Saturday.
As for my treatment, my 4th round of chemo is coming up on July 24th. There was an interesting article on the cover of the New York Times on Saturday about two revolutionary new drugs for treating lymphoma that are not being widely used because of marketing issues. I want to talk to Dr. G about them and find out what he thinks. These drugs were able to cure late-stage Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma with only 1 hour of receiving the drug through IV. Isn't that amazing?!?! So far they are approved for treating indolent lymphomas (the slow growing type. mine is aggressive), but they are also being used to treat people who have failed the CHOP-R treatment (which is what I'm receiving now). In the years to come, they could be replacing CHOP-R as the preferred treatment for all types of lymphoma, but first they need more evidence to prove that these drugs increase survival rates in patients. Recent studies only suggest that they are better. This is definitely something that I want to learn more about...
Time for me to go do my aerobics routine. That's a pretty good sign if my lungs are working well enough for me to do cardio workouts, eh? I am very pleased :)
I hope everyone is feeling as great as I am!
Lauren
I can't remember exactly what order I did any of these things in, so I'm just going to kind of randomly summarize the past week and a half.
I ended up getting to see fireworks at Dan's house on the Friday after the 4th of July. In keeping with tradition, the Mahler men set off a series of small explosives in the driveway while Kathleen, Mrs. Mahler and I watched. It was a lot of fun. After visiting with Dan for a bit, I headed down to Trolley Square for a drink with my friends at Catherine Rooney's pub. We had a nice time and I saw a ton of people I knew from high school and grade school. That's Delaware for you!
On Saturday, Dan and I went up to West Chester for Dan Farrell's graduation party. Farrell was Dan's roommate for nearly all 4 years when he was at Millersville. His family has a beautiful home with a pool and hot tub that sits on a fairly big plot of land, so we enjoyed a night of swimming, football, tons of food, and good times chatting with Dan's friends from MU. It was great seeing all of them again.
Monday night I went out to dinner at Kelly's Logan House with Meggie and Caitlyn, who I haven't seen since high school. We had such a good time! Caitlyn was one of my best friends back in the day when I attended IHM, and I think we picked up right where we left off. Hopefully I'll see her again soon. I think I've said this already, but I really am grateful for the way being sick has sort of helped me reconnect with friends I've lost touch with over the years. I suppose cancer is the kick in the pants that I needed to pick up the phone and see how my old friends are doing.
Tuesday I hung out with Dan. We saw Transformers, which was pretty good for an action movie. I thought the romance part was a little cheesy though. We went to Friendly's after the movie and got ice cream and dinner.
Wednesday Amy came over and we went out to lunch with Keen. I took them to Bon Appetite since I enjoyed it so much when Jenny took me there a few weeks ago. We had a nice lunch and chatted about our years growing up in Deerhurst where Amy was our neighbor across the street. I can't believe how long ago that was. It makes me feel very old seeing how much all of the neighborhood kids have grown up!
Thursday I drove down to Baltimore to see Kelli, Janine, Lindsay and Susan. Kelli Larson was my boss at the Alcohol and Drug Education office at Loyola. She was also the adviser to the Alcohol and Drug Education Team, which Janine, Susan and I were student coordinators for. We had a deliiicious dinner at a Cuban restaurant called Little Havana. It was right on the harbor in Federal Hill, and our table was outside overlooking the water! I got crab quesadillas (and Susan did too...we always have the same taste! haha). We had such a good time catching up. Kelli made me cupcakes for my birthday (which is this Saturday) and brought me a bag of my favorite candies. Yum! Kelli has been a great friend and mentor to us, and is someone that I truly admire. She is due to have her first baby in September, so I was really excited to see her and hear all about her progress. I can't wait to meet baby Larson in the fall when he or she arrives :)
After dinner I drove down to Annapolis where Susan lives and spent the night at her house. I got to meet her adorable golden retrievers, Josh and Ben. I think I definitely want to have a dog some day...and a cat...and a horse...haha. But anyway, it was fun getting to visit her home and I slept like a baby!
The next day I drove to Fenwick beach in lower Delaware to see Meggie and Kristen at Meggie's family's beach house. The house sits right on an inlet and we all sat out on the porch and had margaritas and a delicious taco casserole dinner that I loved (I am a huge fan of anything Mexican). After dinner, Meggie's boyfriend Joe arrived and we drove down to Ocean City, MD (which is about 10 minutes away) to go to a beach club/bar/restaurant called Seacrets. This place was nuts! I can't imagine how much money this business makes in one night, because it's absolutely humongous. Seacrets sits right on the beach and has many different sections within it. There is a beach club, a night club, an ocean bar that sits right in the water and has inner tubes and tables where you can be served drinks, a dock where boats can come and get dinner and drinks, a beach restaurant, tons of different bars all made to look like beach huts, two stages featuring different live bands, rooms with different DJ's playing everything from 80s to techno to hiphop to reggae, and tons of food stands selling pizza, funnel cake, etc. Needless to say we had a GREAT time there. I was DD, so I only had one drink, but it was delicious! I tried the "Pain in de Ass", the club's signature drink. It was a pina colada/rum runner swirled together. I also ordered fries and we sat out on the beach restaurant surrounded by palm trees and tons of tiki torches. It felt like we were in the Caribbean! We all had a great time dancing too.
After spending the night at Meggie's, we spent the day laying out on the beach. It was perfect weather and the water was nice and warm. At dinner time we headed up to the Rehobeth boardwalk for some pizza and ice cream. I drove home that night and went over to the Levine's where Dan was dog-sitting. They have a golden retriever named Scout. He was so cute! He climbed right in my lap on the couch and watched tv with us. haha
Dan came over last night for dinner and we went to Rita's for water ice and then watched Big Brother with my parents. They are obsessed with that show. I think it's pretty ridiculous.
Anyway, that's what has been going on with me. Aside from being sick, I'm having a great summer. I am doing my best to use my time wisely and enjoy this work-free summer as much as possible. I've been feeling great and exercising a lot to try to take off some of the weight I've gained from the Prednisone. Dr. G said I'm allowed to exercise as long as I don't do anything crazy. I'm also trying to eat healthier, although I may not do too well this week with my birthday coming up on Saturday.
As for my treatment, my 4th round of chemo is coming up on July 24th. There was an interesting article on the cover of the New York Times on Saturday about two revolutionary new drugs for treating lymphoma that are not being widely used because of marketing issues. I want to talk to Dr. G about them and find out what he thinks. These drugs were able to cure late-stage Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma with only 1 hour of receiving the drug through IV. Isn't that amazing?!?! So far they are approved for treating indolent lymphomas (the slow growing type. mine is aggressive), but they are also being used to treat people who have failed the CHOP-R treatment (which is what I'm receiving now). In the years to come, they could be replacing CHOP-R as the preferred treatment for all types of lymphoma, but first they need more evidence to prove that these drugs increase survival rates in patients. Recent studies only suggest that they are better. This is definitely something that I want to learn more about...
Time for me to go do my aerobics routine. That's a pretty good sign if my lungs are working well enough for me to do cardio workouts, eh? I am very pleased :)
I hope everyone is feeling as great as I am!
Lauren
Thursday, July 5, 2007
happy (belated) 4th!
Hello everyone,
So it ended up being a fireworkless 4th of July for me. The Longwood Gardens show was sold out, and then Dan's family fireworks display had to be postponed due to the rainy weather and tornado watches that we had here yesterday. I still had a great holiday though.
On Tuesday we went to the Farmhouse at Loch Nairn golf course up in PA for my parents' 25th anniversary. It's always such a treat to go there. I had lobster bisque, the house salad with strawberry vinaigrette, and maple glazed salmon with an apple crepe of some sort. Dan came and we all had a great time. Our waiter was the same French waiter we had the last time we were there (Aunt Pat, you and Kate may remember this guy). When Dan mentioned that he had just returned from traveling in France, they got into a lengthy chat about French history and movies...lol. He was nice though.
Yesterday I went to Dan's for 4th of July dinner and fireworks. Every year he, his Dad, and his brother Jon put on a fireworks show in the driveway (with the small kind that are legal in PA, of course). Unfortunately there were tornado watches and thunderstorms, so we had to postpone the festivities until this weekend. But it was still a nice night. Dan and I got to talk and relax for a while after dinner.
Dan is back to work today at Bournelyf Special Camp, a day camp for children with special needs. He has worked there for the past 2 summers and loves it. In the fall he will begin teaching English at Nativity Preparatory School in downtown Wilmington. Nativity Prep was established in 2003 by the Oblates of St. Francis DeSales as a school for low-income boys in grades 5-8. It is tuition free, and students have to be very hardworking and disciplined to get in since classes are limited to 10-15 students. Once they graduate, the students win scholarships to local college-prep high schools. It should be an amazing place for Dan to begin his teaching career. I am so proud of him.
Anyway, today I'm finishing some cleaning in my room. I'm trying to purge as much as possible from my closets to give to Good Will. My room is just too packed for me to function anymore. I figure I should make good use of my job-free summer and get it cleaned out. So far I've filled 6 trash bags with clothes, shoes, purses, and more. It feels good to be rid of the clutter!
I also got an absolutely fantastic package in the mail today from one of my best friends, Kristen! She is living up in Boston for the summer where she is majoring in pharmaceuticals at Northeastern. A few years ago when I was going through a tough time, she made me a "Fuck It Bucket", which is an idea she got from the book "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris (an absolutely hilarious book). The package I received today contained an even bigger "Cancer Edition" of the Fuck It Bucket filled with cookies :) She also sent me a Boston Redsocks mascot, funky band aids, and a box of ghetto slang flashcards to make me laugh. She decorated the whole bucket with pictures of us and stickers and all sorts of cute stuff. I have the world's best friends. I really do.
I also have the world's best family. I got a gooorgeous vase filled with flowers from Uncle Will's sisters, Nora and Rosemarie. I'm not sure if they knew it, but lilies are my favorite! There are several yellow ones in the arrangement and they just bloomed. It's so nice to see them brightening up the kitchen.
Last week I got to have lunch with my mom and Grandmom at a great Mexican restaurant, Don Pablo's. I had a strawberry margarita (I can have a teensy bit to drink once in a while) and a huge chimichanga covered in cheese. I haven't found many Mexican restaurants that live up to La Tolteca, but this one was great. I'm going to have to take Dan there and see what he thinks.
....Is it just me, or do my journal entries tend to be very food-focused??? haha I think it's all this Prednisone talking. I'm back on that for 5 days now that I'm done my 3rd round of chemo, and it's making me hungry constantly. I'm trying to stay more active though. I've been power walking a lot with my mom around the neighborhood and going with my dad to Bellevue State Park. My 3rd round of chemo was Tuesday and it went very well, although it took longer than last time because the center was so packed with people getting treatment around the holiday. I didn't get sick, just very sleepy from the Benadryl, and I got a visit from one of the PAWS dogs, a golden retriever named Sadie. She was adorable, and I fed her a treat :) I really enjoy seeing the dogs when I'm there.
I had a physical and a meeting with Dr. G before my treatment, and I am doing very well. My white blood cell count was almost totally normal and my lungs are sounding better than ever. I got an x-ray which showed that about 2/3 of my tumor is gone. It is going to take another round or 2 before it will be totally wiped out since it was such a bulky mass to begin with, but we're making good progress and I'm handling treatment very well. Dr. G warned me that I'll probably start to feel a lot more exhausted and have more memory problems as the weeks progress. I may have problems with hand-eye coordination and just lose my mental sharpness in general. I have been feeling better as the chemo drugs have been attacking my cancer, but now that there is less cancer to attack, the drugs will basically just be attacking the rest of me. I'm nervous about what that might mean, but I suppose there's nothing to do but keep going with the flow.
In about 6 weeks, Dr. G wants to sit down and talk about whether I look like I'm headed for a complete cure, or if things are still "iffy"...depending on where I stand, we will be deciding if I should receive a stem cell transplant. That procedure would help safeguard me against a relapse, since I'm in a risk group for relapsing due to the size and stage of my cancer, but it would also mean a 3 week stay in the hospital after my chemo finishes up in October. This would pose a problem if I am intending on starting law school in the fall, so I have to get in touch with the dean at Widener and decide if it would be best for me to start or put off my enrollment until spring semester. I honestly don't know what to do. I really want to start school, but I also want to do whatever it takes to kick this cancer for good. There really isn't an easy solution to any of this, but I'm sure whatever is meant to be will be.
All right, I'm going to wrap this up now. I have a coffee date soon with Chiya, Colleen and Sara at BrewHaha, so I'm off to get ready. I hope everyone had a lovely 4th!
Lots of love,
Lauren
So it ended up being a fireworkless 4th of July for me. The Longwood Gardens show was sold out, and then Dan's family fireworks display had to be postponed due to the rainy weather and tornado watches that we had here yesterday. I still had a great holiday though.
On Tuesday we went to the Farmhouse at Loch Nairn golf course up in PA for my parents' 25th anniversary. It's always such a treat to go there. I had lobster bisque, the house salad with strawberry vinaigrette, and maple glazed salmon with an apple crepe of some sort. Dan came and we all had a great time. Our waiter was the same French waiter we had the last time we were there (Aunt Pat, you and Kate may remember this guy). When Dan mentioned that he had just returned from traveling in France, they got into a lengthy chat about French history and movies...lol. He was nice though.
Yesterday I went to Dan's for 4th of July dinner and fireworks. Every year he, his Dad, and his brother Jon put on a fireworks show in the driveway (with the small kind that are legal in PA, of course). Unfortunately there were tornado watches and thunderstorms, so we had to postpone the festivities until this weekend. But it was still a nice night. Dan and I got to talk and relax for a while after dinner.
Dan is back to work today at Bournelyf Special Camp, a day camp for children with special needs. He has worked there for the past 2 summers and loves it. In the fall he will begin teaching English at Nativity Preparatory School in downtown Wilmington. Nativity Prep was established in 2003 by the Oblates of St. Francis DeSales as a school for low-income boys in grades 5-8. It is tuition free, and students have to be very hardworking and disciplined to get in since classes are limited to 10-15 students. Once they graduate, the students win scholarships to local college-prep high schools. It should be an amazing place for Dan to begin his teaching career. I am so proud of him.
Anyway, today I'm finishing some cleaning in my room. I'm trying to purge as much as possible from my closets to give to Good Will. My room is just too packed for me to function anymore. I figure I should make good use of my job-free summer and get it cleaned out. So far I've filled 6 trash bags with clothes, shoes, purses, and more. It feels good to be rid of the clutter!
I also got an absolutely fantastic package in the mail today from one of my best friends, Kristen! She is living up in Boston for the summer where she is majoring in pharmaceuticals at Northeastern. A few years ago when I was going through a tough time, she made me a "Fuck It Bucket", which is an idea she got from the book "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris (an absolutely hilarious book). The package I received today contained an even bigger "Cancer Edition" of the Fuck It Bucket filled with cookies :) She also sent me a Boston Redsocks mascot, funky band aids, and a box of ghetto slang flashcards to make me laugh. She decorated the whole bucket with pictures of us and stickers and all sorts of cute stuff. I have the world's best friends. I really do.
I also have the world's best family. I got a gooorgeous vase filled with flowers from Uncle Will's sisters, Nora and Rosemarie. I'm not sure if they knew it, but lilies are my favorite! There are several yellow ones in the arrangement and they just bloomed. It's so nice to see them brightening up the kitchen.
Last week I got to have lunch with my mom and Grandmom at a great Mexican restaurant, Don Pablo's. I had a strawberry margarita (I can have a teensy bit to drink once in a while) and a huge chimichanga covered in cheese. I haven't found many Mexican restaurants that live up to La Tolteca, but this one was great. I'm going to have to take Dan there and see what he thinks.
....Is it just me, or do my journal entries tend to be very food-focused??? haha I think it's all this Prednisone talking. I'm back on that for 5 days now that I'm done my 3rd round of chemo, and it's making me hungry constantly. I'm trying to stay more active though. I've been power walking a lot with my mom around the neighborhood and going with my dad to Bellevue State Park. My 3rd round of chemo was Tuesday and it went very well, although it took longer than last time because the center was so packed with people getting treatment around the holiday. I didn't get sick, just very sleepy from the Benadryl, and I got a visit from one of the PAWS dogs, a golden retriever named Sadie. She was adorable, and I fed her a treat :) I really enjoy seeing the dogs when I'm there.
I had a physical and a meeting with Dr. G before my treatment, and I am doing very well. My white blood cell count was almost totally normal and my lungs are sounding better than ever. I got an x-ray which showed that about 2/3 of my tumor is gone. It is going to take another round or 2 before it will be totally wiped out since it was such a bulky mass to begin with, but we're making good progress and I'm handling treatment very well. Dr. G warned me that I'll probably start to feel a lot more exhausted and have more memory problems as the weeks progress. I may have problems with hand-eye coordination and just lose my mental sharpness in general. I have been feeling better as the chemo drugs have been attacking my cancer, but now that there is less cancer to attack, the drugs will basically just be attacking the rest of me. I'm nervous about what that might mean, but I suppose there's nothing to do but keep going with the flow.
In about 6 weeks, Dr. G wants to sit down and talk about whether I look like I'm headed for a complete cure, or if things are still "iffy"...depending on where I stand, we will be deciding if I should receive a stem cell transplant. That procedure would help safeguard me against a relapse, since I'm in a risk group for relapsing due to the size and stage of my cancer, but it would also mean a 3 week stay in the hospital after my chemo finishes up in October. This would pose a problem if I am intending on starting law school in the fall, so I have to get in touch with the dean at Widener and decide if it would be best for me to start or put off my enrollment until spring semester. I honestly don't know what to do. I really want to start school, but I also want to do whatever it takes to kick this cancer for good. There really isn't an easy solution to any of this, but I'm sure whatever is meant to be will be.
All right, I'm going to wrap this up now. I have a coffee date soon with Chiya, Colleen and Sara at BrewHaha, so I'm off to get ready. I hope everyone had a lovely 4th!
Lots of love,
Lauren
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
quick update
I'm off to chemo round 3 in a few minutes. Hopefully it goes as smoothly as last time did. I'm not nervous this time and Dad will be coming with me. I'm actually pretty sleepy, so perhaps I'll just nap through the whole thing.
Dan came home from his europe trip yesterday! I went to the airport with Mrs. Mahler and Dan's sister Kathleen to pick him up. It was so great to finally see him. I can't believe it's been a whole month! We had a nice relaxing evening back at his house. Dan's mom made his favorite dinner and we all sat and chatted about the trip.
Today will be a busy day. It's my parents' 25th wedding anniversary (yay!!) so we're going out for a nice dinner at the Farmhouse restaurant and then to the fireworks/fountain show at Longwood Gardens. I'll update again tomorrow and let you know how it went. I have a lot more to share, but it will have to wait.
Adios for now!
Lauren
Dan came home from his europe trip yesterday! I went to the airport with Mrs. Mahler and Dan's sister Kathleen to pick him up. It was so great to finally see him. I can't believe it's been a whole month! We had a nice relaxing evening back at his house. Dan's mom made his favorite dinner and we all sat and chatted about the trip.
Today will be a busy day. It's my parents' 25th wedding anniversary (yay!!) so we're going out for a nice dinner at the Farmhouse restaurant and then to the fireworks/fountain show at Longwood Gardens. I'll update again tomorrow and let you know how it went. I have a lot more to share, but it will have to wait.
Adios for now!
Lauren
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