Hello everyone,
2 reasons for celebration tonight...
1. Our team raised over $3,500 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Light the Night Walk, putting us among the top 10 teams fundraising teams!!! I have received several additional donations in the mail (which I can still submit), so this number continues to climb. Approximately 50 friends and family contributed to the grand total, which absolutely blew me away. I had set my original goal at $500. I continue to be overwhelmed by the outpouring of generosity and support that I have received in my journey toward healing. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. I wish you all could have been there to share in the magic of the event with me. It was amazing!
16 of us were there representing Lauren's NHL All-Stars: my parents, Dan, my best friend Chiya, both my grandmothers and George, Aunt Kelly and Uncle Dan and the girls, Aunt Pat and Uncle Will, Kate and cousin Dan...and me, of course :) We carried a banner displaying our team name, and balloons with tiny lights in them that lit up the night sky. There was a ton of food, games, and the largest crowd ever: over 3,500 walkers. That must be the magic number. I had a white "survivor" balloon and a survivor t-shirt as well. I'm not sure that I can technically call myself cured yet, but I feel I'm fighting a winning battle.
The most moving part of the night for me was seeing my face on the wall of heroes beside pictures of both of my grandfathers who passed away after battles with NHL and other cancers. I know they were marching beside me in spirit and cheering me on toward the finish line.
This brings me to my second reason for celebration...
I'M FINISHED WITH CHEMO!!!!!!
Today I completed my final cycle of CHOP treatment. It was a short visit, and it was hard to believe that it will be my last (hopefully forever!). Everyone was congratulating me and telling me how healthy I look. It was such a joyful experience. I can remember how 6 months of chemo looked like an eternity to me when I first began this process, but now here I am, and it feels like it all went by so quickly. I am told that years from now, I will look back, and this will all just seem like a bad dream. But as I have said in the past, it has been just as much a blessing as a curse.
It felt almost bittersweet when I walked out of the Helen Graham Cancer Center today. The people there have become my friends, and have literally held my hand through some of the most trying moments of my life. I really am going to miss seeing them, and miss their warmth and their nurturing. I hugged all of the nurses goodbye today. They made this experience bearable. They made me laugh. I am so grateful to have met them, and they have taught me so much about giving to others. If law school proves to be the wrong choice, I think nursing seems like a very rewarding profession: a career where you go home every day knowing you've really made a difference. I hope they know what a difference they made to me. They saved my life.
My #1 hero, of course, is Dr. Guarino. He has been phenomenal. Truly phenomenal. Words cannot even express how grateful I am to him for his guidance, his knowledge, his humor, and his care. Today his nurse was telling me that he is consistently the last doctor to finish rotations at the end of the night. He never turns anyone away. I am blessed to have my life in the hands of someone so brilliant and compassionate.
So what happens now? Now I wait and see. I go back in 3 weeks for scans to check my status after this final round, and if all is clear, I'll go back every 2 months or so for check-ups. If I relapse, then we move right to a new chemo cocktail and stem cell transplant. But as Dr. G says, that's a bridge we'll cross when we come to it, and we're not going to come to it.
I guess this means I can start getting back to "normal" life . . . although I guess this is normal life: dealing with the curveballs that you're thrown, and making the most of each day. All the same, I can't wait to have my hair back, and get back in shape, and not be always thinking about where I am in my chemo cycle, and how low my white blood cell counts are, and what pills to take. I think I am going to be paranoid about relapsing for a long time though. I had a cold a few weeks ago, and I was so nervous that the cough was not going to go away, like the persistent cough that I had before my diagnosis. But it went away :)
Some sad news, however...I recently learned that this crazy cancer journey has just begun for someone that I love dearly: Mrs. Mahler, Dan's mom. Mrs. Mahler was diagnosed with breast cancer just this past week. Luckily, they seem to have caught it early. Please please please keep her in your thoughts and prayers!!! And pray for the Mahler family and Dan too. I can only imagine how frustrating and upsetting it must be to watch two of the leading ladies in your life deal with this disease. It is truly relentless, but I have found that love and support are the best medicine. So please send all your love and support their way!
I will continue to update this journal, even though my treatment is over. The healing process is beginning, and I want to keep you all posted on my progress. I was excited to discover that some of my hair has already started to grow back! I have a healthy coating of peach fuzz on my head now, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that it will be as red as it ever was. It's nice to see new life and regeneration after all of this :)
A million thank-yous and God bless you, truly, for being my sources of strength and for every prayer and every word of support. I know that all you have given will come back to you ten fold, and that you are my heroes.
Tons of love to everyone,
Lauren
Friday, October 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
help needed
Important newsflash!
In honor of my battle with lymphoma, and in memory of both of my grandfathers who passed away from NHL (and other cancers), I am participating in the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's annual Light the Night Walk at A.I. duPont Hospital for children here in Wilmington. The event is on September 29th, with registration beginning at 5pm and the walk at 7pm.
I am fundraising for the event to help support cancer research and hopefully save lives. Cancer has touched us all in one way or another, and I have seen first-hand how much we still have to learn about its treatment. So I'm posting the link to my donation page on here in hopes that you will take a minute to check it out and consider helping me by making a donation, joining my team, or fundraising as an individual. Here's how you can help:
To make a donation, select a suggested amount or type in your own on my page:
http://www.active.com/donate/ltnWilmin1/2123_LMOCONNNELL
It's quick and easy and very secure. You can also send me donations by mail if you would feel more comfortable doing so. My goal is to raise $500 in the next 2 weeks, so any help would be GREATLY appreciated!
You can also join my team, "Lauren's NHL All-Stars," at:
http://teams.lightthenight.org/LaurensNHLAllStars
Joining my team means that you can participate in the actual event with me or help me by fundraising on your own donation page. Or you can simply pass on my links to anyone who might be interested. Any little bit helps :)
It's scary to think about, but if it weren't for fundraising campaigns like this, I might not be here today. As recently as the 70s, most people diagnosed with lymphoma didn't survive, even those who were diagnosed young and otherwise healthy like me. The research advances have been remarkable. But doctors still have little understanding of what causes lymphoma or why its occurrence has been spreading so rapidly in recent years. With my chances of relapse at 40%, this cause is truly a matter of life or death for me. So please consider helping in any way you can. It would mean the world to me.
I have to get some sleep now, but I am SO excited for this event. I think it will be very uplifting for me to see the Delaware community come together to address this issue and show support for cancer research. Plus it's always beautiful seeing the night lit up by all the glowing balloons.
I hope everyone is having a good week. School and my job are going well, and my 6th round of chemo went smoothly. My last 2 rounds will only be about 2 hours long each since I'm not getting one of the drugs anymore. Hooray!!
I'm in the home stretch, I hope...keep the prayers coming.
Love to all,
Lauren
In honor of my battle with lymphoma, and in memory of both of my grandfathers who passed away from NHL (and other cancers), I am participating in the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's annual Light the Night Walk at A.I. duPont Hospital for children here in Wilmington. The event is on September 29th, with registration beginning at 5pm and the walk at 7pm.
I am fundraising for the event to help support cancer research and hopefully save lives. Cancer has touched us all in one way or another, and I have seen first-hand how much we still have to learn about its treatment. So I'm posting the link to my donation page on here in hopes that you will take a minute to check it out and consider helping me by making a donation, joining my team, or fundraising as an individual. Here's how you can help:
To make a donation, select a suggested amount or type in your own on my page:
http://www.active.com/donate/ltnWilmin1/2123_LMOCONNNELL
It's quick and easy and very secure. You can also send me donations by mail if you would feel more comfortable doing so. My goal is to raise $500 in the next 2 weeks, so any help would be GREATLY appreciated!
You can also join my team, "Lauren's NHL All-Stars," at:
http://teams.lightthenight.org/LaurensNHLAllStars
Joining my team means that you can participate in the actual event with me or help me by fundraising on your own donation page. Or you can simply pass on my links to anyone who might be interested. Any little bit helps :)
It's scary to think about, but if it weren't for fundraising campaigns like this, I might not be here today. As recently as the 70s, most people diagnosed with lymphoma didn't survive, even those who were diagnosed young and otherwise healthy like me. The research advances have been remarkable. But doctors still have little understanding of what causes lymphoma or why its occurrence has been spreading so rapidly in recent years. With my chances of relapse at 40%, this cause is truly a matter of life or death for me. So please consider helping in any way you can. It would mean the world to me.
I have to get some sleep now, but I am SO excited for this event. I think it will be very uplifting for me to see the Delaware community come together to address this issue and show support for cancer research. Plus it's always beautiful seeing the night lit up by all the glowing balloons.
I hope everyone is having a good week. School and my job are going well, and my 6th round of chemo went smoothly. My last 2 rounds will only be about 2 hours long each since I'm not getting one of the drugs anymore. Hooray!!
I'm in the home stretch, I hope...keep the prayers coming.
Love to all,
Lauren
Monday, September 3, 2007
decision time
Hello again!
I suppose I should update on the big events of this past week. First I must say that I had an amazing weekend. I have a new job at the library at my law school working 3 days a week for a total of 15 hours. I am SO happy to be working again!! I basically get paid to do my homework, and it is very peaceful. Working there has provided me with some much-needed quiet time to think and study. It's great :) Classes have also been going extremely well.
In addition to working this weekend, my parents, Dan and I finally made it down to Middletown to see Uncle John and Aunt Kara and their adorable bulldogs. We went for a ride on their new boat on the Bohemia river. It was an absolutely perfect day out on the water. We had some snacks and drinks and enjoyed the breeze and the sunshine. It was so much fun! Then we headed back to their house for a delicious dinner of home-made ceasar salad and pasta with shrimp. It was sooooo good. Words cannot do that meal justice. haha It was a wonderful evening all around.
Today Dan and I went to a labor day picnic at the residence of the oblates of St. Francis DeSales, who run Salesianum High School and Nativity Prep, where Dan will be teaching starting tomorrow. We had such a good time. They grilled burgers and hotdogs and we sat and enjoyed mojitos in the shade of their garden. Quite a nice way to spend the holiday. We also stopped by Dan's family's house for some key lime pie and then headed back to Dan's new place to watch Lost. The Bobbitt's lent me the first season on DVD, and Dan and I have both become addicted!
Anyway, on to serious matters. The time has finally come for me to make up my mind about whether or not to have the stem cell transplant.
This past week I had my CT scan, PET scan, and my meeting with Dr. G to review their results. It was a little bit hectic trying to work my visits to the hospital around my law school classes, but thankfully everything worked out. I had the CT scan immediately after class on Monday, which of course meant a delicious lunch of barium sulfate for me. haha I can't wait to never have to drink that nasty stuff again.
My PET scan was scheduled bright and early at 6:30am on Tuesday. That procedure takes about 2 hours: 1 hour for the radioactive fluid to be given to me by IV, another 30 minutes for the actual scan, plus the time it takes to do all the prep inbetween. They bundled me in blankets and then strapped me down with velcro and pads molded to hold my head and legs in place in order to keep me as still as possible. The PET scan machine is like a doughnut, similar to a CT scan, but longer and more narrow. My arms actually grazed the sides and I could feel my breath bouncing off the ceiling above me. I'm glad I was able to zone out. The PET scan gives my doctor the ability to specifically detect cancerous areas in my body. It shows a blurry image of my body, and anything cancerous shows up as a shadow. It's very new technology and pretty amazing. After the scan was over, I rushed home and grabbed some breakfast, and then headed to school.
On Thursday I met with Dr. G after school to hear the results of my scans and discuss where to go from there. Mom, Dad and Dan all came along to support me :) Thankfully the news was all good. My scans appear to be clear, except for one slight "area of concern" on the PET scan. Dr. G said that he would call it a clear scan, but it is likely that microscopic cancer cells probably still exist inside my chest since the original mass was so big. After 5 rounds of chemo, a bit more treatment is necessary before I can call myself cancer-free, but that is to be expected since I was stage 3.
The CT scan showed that the small mass in the center of my chest shrank ever so slightly since my last CT scan, and still appears to be only scar tissue. Hooray! So although I'm not out of the woods entirely, this is most certainly the best possible news I could hope for at this stage. I was so happy!
Then it was time to talk business...
From here on out, the real test begins. We don't want just shrinkage, we want a complete cure. How to achieve that is really a guessing game now. Doctors don't have enough conclusive evidence to show that stem cell transplants increase survival rates, but I am part of a clinical trial that is investigating this possibility. If I stay on the trial, I have a 50/50 chance of being selected for a transplant, but it comes with a price. There are many risks, as I have explained previously. The biggest of these being permanent heart damage and total loss of fertility.
Dr. G did his best to give me the most unbiased answers to all of my questions, but I sensed that he felt it would be best for me to procede with another 3 rounds of standard R-CHOP chemo. We asked TONS of questions, but in the end there really are no right answers. So much about the treatment of cancer remains a mystery. My dad asked "what would you do if this were your daughter?" and Dr. G would not say. No one knows yet if stem cell transplants really provide any significant benefit, and it would be wrong for him to influence my decision without this knowledge. But in the end, knowing all the risks and costs involved and the fact that there is no conclusive proof of benefits at this time, I am opting to not have the transplant.
While I have sp0ken with several people who said that having the transplant was the best decision they could have made, I also know that Jason Schiable (the Loyola student who recently passed away from Hodgkins) had the transplant and still wasn't cured. So who really knows if it makes a difference or not. I would love to help science find an answer to that question, but as Dan pointed out, there are people who have had more time on this earth and are better qualified to participate in that experiment than I.
As it stands, Dr. G thinks I have about a 40% chance of relapsing based on the fact that my cancer was so far along to begin with. He explained that most patients who relapse are not successfully cured by second round treatment....which is scary to think about. If the day comes when I do relapse (and I pray it never does!), I will receive a different coctail of drugs and then a stem cell transplant. These procedures are pretty much last resorts, and most cancers that don't respond to R-CHOP are too aggressive to respond to these treatments either.
::sigh::
So it was a bittersweet day. I left feeling reassured and also scared. A body can only take so much poison, and once my chemo is done, I have to hope my cells are healthy enough to keep the cancer away on their own. Tomorrow I will call Dr. G and give him my decision to remove myself from the clinical trial and procede with standard treatment. I pray that I have made the right choice. I know that whatever is meant to happen will happen. I truly believe God has a plan.
I am doing my best not to think about all of this, and just allow myself to be guided down whatever path I'm meant to travel. I am SO thankful that I have had and continue to have so many happy, healthy days. Most cancer patients are not so fortunate. Let's hope that it is nothing but downhill smooth sailing from here on out.
I should say though, that having considered the possibility of death, I am scared and yet not scared. I know this is not the happiest subject, but it's something I have to think about, and thinking about it has made me come to a somewhat comforting realization. We're all going to die, and some people will die without any warning. I am really thankful that this darn disease has given me a kick in the pants to truly enjoy life while I can. You just never know. We are all in the same boat. We never know when our time in this life will come to an end, so we might as well treat each day as the gift that it is.
On that note, I watched an amazing documentary on TLC this past week called "Crazy, Sexy Cancer." If you missed it, I highly suggest buying the book or writing to TLC and asking them to air it again. It was AMAZING!! A young woman named Kris Carr, who also has a blog (http://www.crazysexycancer.blogspot.com/), filmed her search for healing after being diagnosed with a very rare and uncurable slow-growing cancer. She is in her early 30s and was pursuing her acting career in New York when she was diagnosed. She is a true inspiration, and I guarantee you will fall in love with her after seeing the film. She just has such an amazing spirit, and she meets several other women during the course of the film who are also battling cancer and teach her a lot about perseverence and finding happiness. It is just amazing to see Kris transform as she examines all the ways that cancer has cursed and yet simultaneously blessed her life. I kept thinking "that's exactly how I feel!! that's what I am going through!" the whole time I was watching it. It is an amazing look at how cancer helped Kris find herself, find love, and find her own "cure."
During the documentary, Kris asks the question "Why, when we are challenged to survive, do we give ourselves permission to truly live?" This is something I have been asking myself, and she put it so perfectly. I hope you all get the chance to see her film. It is messy and funny and sad and beautiful all at once. Just like cancer. Just like life.
Tons of love to everyone :) I hope you had a relaxing labor day!
Lauren
I suppose I should update on the big events of this past week. First I must say that I had an amazing weekend. I have a new job at the library at my law school working 3 days a week for a total of 15 hours. I am SO happy to be working again!! I basically get paid to do my homework, and it is very peaceful. Working there has provided me with some much-needed quiet time to think and study. It's great :) Classes have also been going extremely well.
In addition to working this weekend, my parents, Dan and I finally made it down to Middletown to see Uncle John and Aunt Kara and their adorable bulldogs. We went for a ride on their new boat on the Bohemia river. It was an absolutely perfect day out on the water. We had some snacks and drinks and enjoyed the breeze and the sunshine. It was so much fun! Then we headed back to their house for a delicious dinner of home-made ceasar salad and pasta with shrimp. It was sooooo good. Words cannot do that meal justice. haha It was a wonderful evening all around.
Today Dan and I went to a labor day picnic at the residence of the oblates of St. Francis DeSales, who run Salesianum High School and Nativity Prep, where Dan will be teaching starting tomorrow. We had such a good time. They grilled burgers and hotdogs and we sat and enjoyed mojitos in the shade of their garden. Quite a nice way to spend the holiday. We also stopped by Dan's family's house for some key lime pie and then headed back to Dan's new place to watch Lost. The Bobbitt's lent me the first season on DVD, and Dan and I have both become addicted!
Anyway, on to serious matters. The time has finally come for me to make up my mind about whether or not to have the stem cell transplant.
This past week I had my CT scan, PET scan, and my meeting with Dr. G to review their results. It was a little bit hectic trying to work my visits to the hospital around my law school classes, but thankfully everything worked out. I had the CT scan immediately after class on Monday, which of course meant a delicious lunch of barium sulfate for me. haha I can't wait to never have to drink that nasty stuff again.
My PET scan was scheduled bright and early at 6:30am on Tuesday. That procedure takes about 2 hours: 1 hour for the radioactive fluid to be given to me by IV, another 30 minutes for the actual scan, plus the time it takes to do all the prep inbetween. They bundled me in blankets and then strapped me down with velcro and pads molded to hold my head and legs in place in order to keep me as still as possible. The PET scan machine is like a doughnut, similar to a CT scan, but longer and more narrow. My arms actually grazed the sides and I could feel my breath bouncing off the ceiling above me. I'm glad I was able to zone out. The PET scan gives my doctor the ability to specifically detect cancerous areas in my body. It shows a blurry image of my body, and anything cancerous shows up as a shadow. It's very new technology and pretty amazing. After the scan was over, I rushed home and grabbed some breakfast, and then headed to school.
On Thursday I met with Dr. G after school to hear the results of my scans and discuss where to go from there. Mom, Dad and Dan all came along to support me :) Thankfully the news was all good. My scans appear to be clear, except for one slight "area of concern" on the PET scan. Dr. G said that he would call it a clear scan, but it is likely that microscopic cancer cells probably still exist inside my chest since the original mass was so big. After 5 rounds of chemo, a bit more treatment is necessary before I can call myself cancer-free, but that is to be expected since I was stage 3.
The CT scan showed that the small mass in the center of my chest shrank ever so slightly since my last CT scan, and still appears to be only scar tissue. Hooray! So although I'm not out of the woods entirely, this is most certainly the best possible news I could hope for at this stage. I was so happy!
Then it was time to talk business...
From here on out, the real test begins. We don't want just shrinkage, we want a complete cure. How to achieve that is really a guessing game now. Doctors don't have enough conclusive evidence to show that stem cell transplants increase survival rates, but I am part of a clinical trial that is investigating this possibility. If I stay on the trial, I have a 50/50 chance of being selected for a transplant, but it comes with a price. There are many risks, as I have explained previously. The biggest of these being permanent heart damage and total loss of fertility.
Dr. G did his best to give me the most unbiased answers to all of my questions, but I sensed that he felt it would be best for me to procede with another 3 rounds of standard R-CHOP chemo. We asked TONS of questions, but in the end there really are no right answers. So much about the treatment of cancer remains a mystery. My dad asked "what would you do if this were your daughter?" and Dr. G would not say. No one knows yet if stem cell transplants really provide any significant benefit, and it would be wrong for him to influence my decision without this knowledge. But in the end, knowing all the risks and costs involved and the fact that there is no conclusive proof of benefits at this time, I am opting to not have the transplant.
While I have sp0ken with several people who said that having the transplant was the best decision they could have made, I also know that Jason Schiable (the Loyola student who recently passed away from Hodgkins) had the transplant and still wasn't cured. So who really knows if it makes a difference or not. I would love to help science find an answer to that question, but as Dan pointed out, there are people who have had more time on this earth and are better qualified to participate in that experiment than I.
As it stands, Dr. G thinks I have about a 40% chance of relapsing based on the fact that my cancer was so far along to begin with. He explained that most patients who relapse are not successfully cured by second round treatment....which is scary to think about. If the day comes when I do relapse (and I pray it never does!), I will receive a different coctail of drugs and then a stem cell transplant. These procedures are pretty much last resorts, and most cancers that don't respond to R-CHOP are too aggressive to respond to these treatments either.
::sigh::
So it was a bittersweet day. I left feeling reassured and also scared. A body can only take so much poison, and once my chemo is done, I have to hope my cells are healthy enough to keep the cancer away on their own. Tomorrow I will call Dr. G and give him my decision to remove myself from the clinical trial and procede with standard treatment. I pray that I have made the right choice. I know that whatever is meant to happen will happen. I truly believe God has a plan.
I am doing my best not to think about all of this, and just allow myself to be guided down whatever path I'm meant to travel. I am SO thankful that I have had and continue to have so many happy, healthy days. Most cancer patients are not so fortunate. Let's hope that it is nothing but downhill smooth sailing from here on out.
I should say though, that having considered the possibility of death, I am scared and yet not scared. I know this is not the happiest subject, but it's something I have to think about, and thinking about it has made me come to a somewhat comforting realization. We're all going to die, and some people will die without any warning. I am really thankful that this darn disease has given me a kick in the pants to truly enjoy life while I can. You just never know. We are all in the same boat. We never know when our time in this life will come to an end, so we might as well treat each day as the gift that it is.
On that note, I watched an amazing documentary on TLC this past week called "Crazy, Sexy Cancer." If you missed it, I highly suggest buying the book or writing to TLC and asking them to air it again. It was AMAZING!! A young woman named Kris Carr, who also has a blog (http://www.crazysexycancer.blogspot.com/), filmed her search for healing after being diagnosed with a very rare and uncurable slow-growing cancer. She is in her early 30s and was pursuing her acting career in New York when she was diagnosed. She is a true inspiration, and I guarantee you will fall in love with her after seeing the film. She just has such an amazing spirit, and she meets several other women during the course of the film who are also battling cancer and teach her a lot about perseverence and finding happiness. It is just amazing to see Kris transform as she examines all the ways that cancer has cursed and yet simultaneously blessed her life. I kept thinking "that's exactly how I feel!! that's what I am going through!" the whole time I was watching it. It is an amazing look at how cancer helped Kris find herself, find love, and find her own "cure."
During the documentary, Kris asks the question "Why, when we are challenged to survive, do we give ourselves permission to truly live?" This is something I have been asking myself, and she put it so perfectly. I hope you all get the chance to see her film. It is messy and funny and sad and beautiful all at once. Just like cancer. Just like life.
Tons of love to everyone :) I hope you had a relaxing labor day!
Lauren
Sunday, August 19, 2007
so long summer
Well, the summer has ended, and what a summer it was! I have been quite busy these past few weeks with law school starting up and also went on my trip to Gettysburg with Dan, but I will attempt to summarize everything.
I enjoyed the Guster concert earlier this month. I believe my previous entry ended with me heading out to that. My friends and I got there several hours early so that we could be the first ones in, and managed to secure spots right along the railing by the stage, front and center. It was a standing outdoor venue, so I was pretty excited that we got arguably the best view one could ask for for the concert. Despite some thunder storms, we stayed for the entire event. We got completely soaked, but we had a FANTASTIC time!
I also got to go see Dan in his camp show, which was a lot of fun. Each year Bournelyf (the camp for special needs youth where Dan is a counselor) puts on a show as the grand finale to their summer sessions. This year's theme was Disney, and the kids put on some really cute and very clever skits. This was my third year seeing Dan in the show, and he was great as usual. The highlight of the evening though was a surprise marriage proposal for the host of the show, Stacy. This year's show marked her 20th anniversary working at the camp. After a special tribute to her where 19 former campers and counselors each brought her a rose on stage, her boyfriend came from the back of the audience dressed as a knight with the 20th rose, dropped down on one knee, and asked for her hand in marriage. After that there wasn't a dry eye in the house! It was such a fun evening, and I got to meet lots of Dan's campers, who all worship him and are adorable. Quite a good time indeed.
August 6-8th, Dan took me on my birthday trip to Gettysburg. We stayed at a beautiful bed and breakfast called Hickory Bridge Farm (you can check it out at http://www.hickorybridgefarm.com/), which was located about 10 minutes outside of Gettysburg. We had our own private bedroom, bathroom, and sitting room, cable TV, air conditioning, a shower, and a huge whirlpool tub. It was gorgeous! The family that owns the farm served us delicious breakfast each morning along with the other guests. We had french toast, eggs, fresh local peaches, bacon, croissants, and more. We got to chat with people visiting from Chicago, Florida, and New Jersey. Our bedroom had a guest book, and everyone before us had written that it was the best bed and breakfast they had ever been to. My favorite part was the farm's cat, Sam, who followed me around and was waiting on the porch by our door whenever we came back from town. I think we made a great choice for our first B&B experience :)
I really enjoyed exploring the town of Gettysburg too. Dan and I took an auto tour of the battlefield with a cd that our B&B owner let us borrow, and also went on a guided tour of the National Cemetery with a park ranger who was very knowledgeable. My favorite part of the trip was the ghost tour that we took on our first night, where we got to hear lots of local ghost stories. Some say Gettysburg is the most haunted place in the U.S.! It was very spooky.
We also ate at some great local restaurants, including one that was down in the spring house of one of Gettysburg's historic homes. It was candle-lit and all the staff were dressed in period costume. On our second night we went to a local German restaurant where I tried German food for the first time and actually really liked it (to my surprise). Dan is a big fan of all things German, so I can thank him for encouraging me to try something new :) And of course I learned a lot about the Civil War and about the importance of the battle of Gettysburg. Overall, it was a great trip!
Unfortunately for me, the hot weather and hiking that I did in Gettysburg was hard on my health, and I was sick for a few days after we got back. With some medicine and rest I was back on my feet after a few days though. No worries.
This past week I started school at Widener School of Law here in Wilmington, my dad's alma matter. Aaah!! I just can't believe summer is over and that I'm a law student already. This past week was packed with orientation activities and classes, and I had my 5th round of chemo on Tuesday to boot. It was pretty exhausting, but I am really enjoying school so far. We already had our first exam on Friday, which was intimidating, but I think I did well. We shall see. I have been enjoying making new friends, and I am already learning how to speak/think like a lawyer. haha
The school has been great in terms of accommodating me with my treatment. They taped the classes that I missed on Tuesday so I was able to keep up with everything. My 5th round of chemo went well, and I am now scheduled to have a PET scan, CT scan, and chest x-ray next week to give Dr. G a detailed picture of what's going on with my cancer. As it stands, it appears that the tumor is gone. All that remains is a small mass in the center of my chest, which seems to be scar tissue based on the fact that it didn't change since my last x-ray and isn't shaped like a mass of lymph nodes. After I get these scans, it will be time to make the final decision on whether or not I should receive a stem cell transplant, but it sounds as if we are leaning toward a "no" on that. My doctor said that as it stands, my chances for relapse are about 30%, but the risks involved in getting a stem cell transplant may outweigh the risk of relapse at this point.
Aside from all of that, I have been going to the YMCA to work out 3 times a week. It has been great having my dad as a workout buddy. He keeps me motivated. I have been swimming, strength training, and running for 30 minutes each time I go. I really want to get my body in the best shape possible so that if I ever have to deal with this cancer business again, I will be ready. So that's been a great source of physical and mental well-being for me.
Anyway, I really need to get some sleep. I have classes all day tomorrow. One final note: Please keep the family of Jason Schaible in your prayers. Jason was a Loyola student in the class below mine, and he just passed away this month after a year-long battle with Hodgkins Lymphoma. Though I didn't know Jason personally, I know many people who did know him, and I was really affected by his story. It absolutely terrifies me to see how this disease continues affecting more and more people around me, and increasingly younger people too. I cried for a long time last night looking at pictures of Jason and his parents, his younger sister, and his girlfriend. He looks so happy and healthy, even throughout his treatment. It is impossible to understand why people like Jason are taken from this world. I can't even begin to fathom what the Schaible family is going through right now. Please pray for peace for them and for all of Jason's loved ones.
Every day is so precious. Love and hugs to everyone,
Lauren
I enjoyed the Guster concert earlier this month. I believe my previous entry ended with me heading out to that. My friends and I got there several hours early so that we could be the first ones in, and managed to secure spots right along the railing by the stage, front and center. It was a standing outdoor venue, so I was pretty excited that we got arguably the best view one could ask for for the concert. Despite some thunder storms, we stayed for the entire event. We got completely soaked, but we had a FANTASTIC time!
I also got to go see Dan in his camp show, which was a lot of fun. Each year Bournelyf (the camp for special needs youth where Dan is a counselor) puts on a show as the grand finale to their summer sessions. This year's theme was Disney, and the kids put on some really cute and very clever skits. This was my third year seeing Dan in the show, and he was great as usual. The highlight of the evening though was a surprise marriage proposal for the host of the show, Stacy. This year's show marked her 20th anniversary working at the camp. After a special tribute to her where 19 former campers and counselors each brought her a rose on stage, her boyfriend came from the back of the audience dressed as a knight with the 20th rose, dropped down on one knee, and asked for her hand in marriage. After that there wasn't a dry eye in the house! It was such a fun evening, and I got to meet lots of Dan's campers, who all worship him and are adorable. Quite a good time indeed.
August 6-8th, Dan took me on my birthday trip to Gettysburg. We stayed at a beautiful bed and breakfast called Hickory Bridge Farm (you can check it out at http://www.hickorybridgefarm.com/), which was located about 10 minutes outside of Gettysburg. We had our own private bedroom, bathroom, and sitting room, cable TV, air conditioning, a shower, and a huge whirlpool tub. It was gorgeous! The family that owns the farm served us delicious breakfast each morning along with the other guests. We had french toast, eggs, fresh local peaches, bacon, croissants, and more. We got to chat with people visiting from Chicago, Florida, and New Jersey. Our bedroom had a guest book, and everyone before us had written that it was the best bed and breakfast they had ever been to. My favorite part was the farm's cat, Sam, who followed me around and was waiting on the porch by our door whenever we came back from town. I think we made a great choice for our first B&B experience :)
I really enjoyed exploring the town of Gettysburg too. Dan and I took an auto tour of the battlefield with a cd that our B&B owner let us borrow, and also went on a guided tour of the National Cemetery with a park ranger who was very knowledgeable. My favorite part of the trip was the ghost tour that we took on our first night, where we got to hear lots of local ghost stories. Some say Gettysburg is the most haunted place in the U.S.! It was very spooky.
We also ate at some great local restaurants, including one that was down in the spring house of one of Gettysburg's historic homes. It was candle-lit and all the staff were dressed in period costume. On our second night we went to a local German restaurant where I tried German food for the first time and actually really liked it (to my surprise). Dan is a big fan of all things German, so I can thank him for encouraging me to try something new :) And of course I learned a lot about the Civil War and about the importance of the battle of Gettysburg. Overall, it was a great trip!
Unfortunately for me, the hot weather and hiking that I did in Gettysburg was hard on my health, and I was sick for a few days after we got back. With some medicine and rest I was back on my feet after a few days though. No worries.
This past week I started school at Widener School of Law here in Wilmington, my dad's alma matter. Aaah!! I just can't believe summer is over and that I'm a law student already. This past week was packed with orientation activities and classes, and I had my 5th round of chemo on Tuesday to boot. It was pretty exhausting, but I am really enjoying school so far. We already had our first exam on Friday, which was intimidating, but I think I did well. We shall see. I have been enjoying making new friends, and I am already learning how to speak/think like a lawyer. haha
The school has been great in terms of accommodating me with my treatment. They taped the classes that I missed on Tuesday so I was able to keep up with everything. My 5th round of chemo went well, and I am now scheduled to have a PET scan, CT scan, and chest x-ray next week to give Dr. G a detailed picture of what's going on with my cancer. As it stands, it appears that the tumor is gone. All that remains is a small mass in the center of my chest, which seems to be scar tissue based on the fact that it didn't change since my last x-ray and isn't shaped like a mass of lymph nodes. After I get these scans, it will be time to make the final decision on whether or not I should receive a stem cell transplant, but it sounds as if we are leaning toward a "no" on that. My doctor said that as it stands, my chances for relapse are about 30%, but the risks involved in getting a stem cell transplant may outweigh the risk of relapse at this point.
Aside from all of that, I have been going to the YMCA to work out 3 times a week. It has been great having my dad as a workout buddy. He keeps me motivated. I have been swimming, strength training, and running for 30 minutes each time I go. I really want to get my body in the best shape possible so that if I ever have to deal with this cancer business again, I will be ready. So that's been a great source of physical and mental well-being for me.
Anyway, I really need to get some sleep. I have classes all day tomorrow. One final note: Please keep the family of Jason Schaible in your prayers. Jason was a Loyola student in the class below mine, and he just passed away this month after a year-long battle with Hodgkins Lymphoma. Though I didn't know Jason personally, I know many people who did know him, and I was really affected by his story. It absolutely terrifies me to see how this disease continues affecting more and more people around me, and increasingly younger people too. I cried for a long time last night looking at pictures of Jason and his parents, his younger sister, and his girlfriend. He looks so happy and healthy, even throughout his treatment. It is impossible to understand why people like Jason are taken from this world. I can't even begin to fathom what the Schaible family is going through right now. Please pray for peace for them and for all of Jason's loved ones.
Every day is so precious. Love and hugs to everyone,
Lauren
Friday, July 27, 2007
busy bee
Hello there :)
So as you can see, my entries have been pretty sparse as of late. I am amazed at how busy my summer has been despite the fact that I'm not working. It gets a little exhausting at times, especially since I'm just not feeling as mentally sharp as I used to, but I am enjoying myself.
My 22nd birthday was last Saturday and I had a very eventful weekend of celebration. Friday night my family, Dan and I went out to my favorite restaurant, La Toltecca, for birthday dinner. Then we came back to my house for cake. Normally I ask for hot milk sponge cake, but this year I decided to do something different and just asked for a plain vanilla cake with vanilla ice cream. Not the most unique choice, but it was deeeelicious. Mom put some red food coloring into the homemade icing and decorated the cake with pink drizzles. Yum yum :)
On Saturday, Dan took me out to brunch. That was an interesting experience. Everyone always asks me if my wig has ever fallen off on its own out in public. Up until my birthday, it never had. haha! We were seated outside and the sun was pretty bright, so Dan got up to adjust the umbrella above our table. When he went to sit back down he accidentally bumped my head and sent the wig flying. Needless to say I got some pretty strange looks from the people seated next to us. Dan quickly scooped up the wig and I put it back on. I was cracking up. I know Dan felt bad, but it really wasn't a big deal.
I was pretty exhausted when we got back from brunch, so I napped for a few hours before hitting the road to see my roommates up in New Jersey for Annette's graduation party. I got up there kind of late, but thankfully the party was still in full swing. Annette's family is so much fun! They had a birthday cake for me in addition to Annette's graduation cake :) We went swimming in their pool in the back yard, played with Annette's adorable Bichon Frises, and ate tons of food. The next day we all went out to breakfast at a diner (how very Jersey of us). All the waiters had the exact same weird spiked hairdo...perhaps some sort of north Jersey trend? I got pancakes, which were delicious. We all went back to Annette's house where she presented us with our graduation gifts: framed pictures of the 5 of us roommates. One picture was from the first month of senior year and the other picture was from graduation day. I love them!! After saying goodbyes to my friends and Annette's family, I headed back to Delaware.
That night Dan's family invited me over for some corn on the cob (arguably my favorite summer meal) and burgers. They decorated my chair at the table with birthday balloons and gave me a gift card to Accent Music! I am heading over there today to pick out some new sheet music for my piano. Dan also got me a brand new book of Classical Favorites for the piano. I am working on learning Moonlight Sonata and Chopin's Raindrop. Raindrop is Dan's favorite piece and I have always wanted to learn Moonlight Sonata. I am enjoying having my new piano so much :) I haven't been able to play in years since my old one sort of died, and now I'm finally getting back into it. It's been very therapeutic for me. I just wish I had more time to sit and really work on the new pieces I have.
On Tuesday I had round 4 of chemo. Yeesh. What a long day that was. I got to the hospital at 9am and didn't leave until 6pm. I had a CT scan in the morning followed by a chest x-ray, then my meeting with Dr. G, and finally 4 hours of chemo. Everything went smoothly, aside from a few computer system glitches thanks to the darn apostrophe in my last name. They can never seem to find me in the system no matter how many times I register for things. Oh well.
The CT scan was fine, but the nurse forgot to tell me when it was OK to breathe, so I was laying there holding my breath for a really long time before I finally gave up and just started breathing normally. haha. Probably my least favorite part of the day was having to drink all of that yucky barium sulfate. They gave me a berry flavored jug of it first and then a citrus one, but neither really hid the grossness of the barium well enough. I was gagging them down. Ugh. I have to get another CT scan next time, and I'm really not looking forward to more barium. It's not even appealing to look at. It's white and chalky and awful. But if I chug it quickly, it's not too bad.
My appointment with Dr. G went well. I am continuing to gain weight, despite my best efforts. I really hate that aspect of this treatment. No matter how well I try to eat or how much I try to exercise, I seem to be ballooning up like a tick! I have gained about 15 pounds since the start of my treatment, which is pretty depressing for a 22-year-old girl who is also bald. haha But I guess gaining too much is better than losing too much. Dr. G said my weight gain is a side effect of the steroids that I'm on, and my weight should return to normal once I'm done treatment. That could take a while though because steroids can remain in the body for up to a year. Good grief.
Reviewing my CT scan, I was finally able to see a detailed image of the progress of my tumor since my first scan back in May. I have lost all but a small mass that remains in the center of my chest. Based on its appearance, Dr. G believes it is likely to be only scar tissue, but we can't be sure until my next appointment when I will get at PET scan. The PET scan will show us if there are any cancerous cells remaining in my body. If there are, I will probably be headed for the stem cell transplant.
With regard to the transplant, I had a very interesting phone conversation with a girl named Amy who is from Kentucky and was matched with me through the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Amy was 25 when she was diagnosed with diffuse large B-cell NHL, and has now been in remission for 2 years after receiving chemo and a stem cell transplant. We were shocked to discover that there were many bizarre similarities between us. Both of us had tumors that covered our chest cavity and crushed our left lungs. Her lung had completely collapsed, while mine was about 3/4 collapsed. She was stage 4 though because cancerous fluid had already leaked into her lung. Mine thankfully had not.
Amy explained that she opted to do the stem cell transplant because her doctors said it would up her chances of being totally cured from about 50-60% to 80%. Based on how far along her cancer was at diagnosis, she was at high risk for relapsing and was thus a good candidate for a stem cell transplant. I am sort of in the same boat. Getting a transplant would clean my body out of all my old white blood cells and replace them with young healthy stem cells, but it comes at a hefty price. There is a mortality risk of 3%-30% depending on whether you receive your own cells or donor cells. I would be receiving my own, so the risk is lessened. The bigger problem is that after receiving the high doses of chemo involved with the transplant, it is unlikely that I would ever be able to have my own children....::sigh:: That always seems to be the way with this treatment. It's a constant weighing of risks and choosing the lesser of two evils.
For Amy, getting the transplant appears to have been the best course of action. She was hospitalized for 3 weeks and was out of commission for about a month after she returned home, but she has been cancer-free since. She told me to plan on taking about 2 months out of my life if I decide to go ahead with it, which would mean I would have to defer law school until next year. The school does not allow first year students to start in the spring, so I would lose an entire year of courses. I won't know if I am going to go to law school or have to get the transplant until my next chemo appointment, which falls just a few days before my first day of orientation at Widener. So as of now, things are just hanging in the balance. I am hopeful that I will not need the transplant, but I am also worried about the possibility of relapsing and having to go through all of this again if I don't get it. Decisions decisions...
Since I don't know yet if I am going to get this transplant or not, I have been moving forward as though I will be attending school full-time in a few weeks. Dad and I have been contacting the Dean regularly to update her on the situation, and I have already received homework, readings to prepare, and my class schedule in the mail. If I start, I will be taking 4 courses for a total of 15 credits. I will have 2 classes a day every day except Wednesdays when I have 3 and weekends. Orientation is set to begin on August 14th. Aaaah!! Time is running out and there is so much I still want to do this summer.
Thankfully I was able to book my birthday trip with Dan to Gettysburg, PA. Dan is paying for us to spend 2 nights at a beautiful farmhouse bed and breakfast located 9 miles from Gettysburg near the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains. I spoke with the innkeeper on the phone yesterday and she sounded so nice! Our trip is scheduled for August 6-8, and we plan to explore the historic battlefields, go on a ghost tour, and maybe do some hiking or bike-riding while we're there (or perhaps even horse-back-riding?? we shall see). I can't wait!
Anyway, it's time for me to run to the post office and get some things done. I have been trying to get birthday thank-yous in the mail and working on presents for my roommates which I am finally sending out today. I made them mix CD's of all of our favorite songs from this year. I think they turned out pretty cute. Tonight I am going up to Philly with 3 of my friends to see my favorite band, Guster, in concert at Penn's Landing and go out to dinner at Dave & Buster's. It should be a great time.
Lots of love to everyone :)
Lauren
So as you can see, my entries have been pretty sparse as of late. I am amazed at how busy my summer has been despite the fact that I'm not working. It gets a little exhausting at times, especially since I'm just not feeling as mentally sharp as I used to, but I am enjoying myself.
My 22nd birthday was last Saturday and I had a very eventful weekend of celebration. Friday night my family, Dan and I went out to my favorite restaurant, La Toltecca, for birthday dinner. Then we came back to my house for cake. Normally I ask for hot milk sponge cake, but this year I decided to do something different and just asked for a plain vanilla cake with vanilla ice cream. Not the most unique choice, but it was deeeelicious. Mom put some red food coloring into the homemade icing and decorated the cake with pink drizzles. Yum yum :)
On Saturday, Dan took me out to brunch. That was an interesting experience. Everyone always asks me if my wig has ever fallen off on its own out in public. Up until my birthday, it never had. haha! We were seated outside and the sun was pretty bright, so Dan got up to adjust the umbrella above our table. When he went to sit back down he accidentally bumped my head and sent the wig flying. Needless to say I got some pretty strange looks from the people seated next to us. Dan quickly scooped up the wig and I put it back on. I was cracking up. I know Dan felt bad, but it really wasn't a big deal.
I was pretty exhausted when we got back from brunch, so I napped for a few hours before hitting the road to see my roommates up in New Jersey for Annette's graduation party. I got up there kind of late, but thankfully the party was still in full swing. Annette's family is so much fun! They had a birthday cake for me in addition to Annette's graduation cake :) We went swimming in their pool in the back yard, played with Annette's adorable Bichon Frises, and ate tons of food. The next day we all went out to breakfast at a diner (how very Jersey of us). All the waiters had the exact same weird spiked hairdo...perhaps some sort of north Jersey trend? I got pancakes, which were delicious. We all went back to Annette's house where she presented us with our graduation gifts: framed pictures of the 5 of us roommates. One picture was from the first month of senior year and the other picture was from graduation day. I love them!! After saying goodbyes to my friends and Annette's family, I headed back to Delaware.
That night Dan's family invited me over for some corn on the cob (arguably my favorite summer meal) and burgers. They decorated my chair at the table with birthday balloons and gave me a gift card to Accent Music! I am heading over there today to pick out some new sheet music for my piano. Dan also got me a brand new book of Classical Favorites for the piano. I am working on learning Moonlight Sonata and Chopin's Raindrop. Raindrop is Dan's favorite piece and I have always wanted to learn Moonlight Sonata. I am enjoying having my new piano so much :) I haven't been able to play in years since my old one sort of died, and now I'm finally getting back into it. It's been very therapeutic for me. I just wish I had more time to sit and really work on the new pieces I have.
On Tuesday I had round 4 of chemo. Yeesh. What a long day that was. I got to the hospital at 9am and didn't leave until 6pm. I had a CT scan in the morning followed by a chest x-ray, then my meeting with Dr. G, and finally 4 hours of chemo. Everything went smoothly, aside from a few computer system glitches thanks to the darn apostrophe in my last name. They can never seem to find me in the system no matter how many times I register for things. Oh well.
The CT scan was fine, but the nurse forgot to tell me when it was OK to breathe, so I was laying there holding my breath for a really long time before I finally gave up and just started breathing normally. haha. Probably my least favorite part of the day was having to drink all of that yucky barium sulfate. They gave me a berry flavored jug of it first and then a citrus one, but neither really hid the grossness of the barium well enough. I was gagging them down. Ugh. I have to get another CT scan next time, and I'm really not looking forward to more barium. It's not even appealing to look at. It's white and chalky and awful. But if I chug it quickly, it's not too bad.
My appointment with Dr. G went well. I am continuing to gain weight, despite my best efforts. I really hate that aspect of this treatment. No matter how well I try to eat or how much I try to exercise, I seem to be ballooning up like a tick! I have gained about 15 pounds since the start of my treatment, which is pretty depressing for a 22-year-old girl who is also bald. haha But I guess gaining too much is better than losing too much. Dr. G said my weight gain is a side effect of the steroids that I'm on, and my weight should return to normal once I'm done treatment. That could take a while though because steroids can remain in the body for up to a year. Good grief.
Reviewing my CT scan, I was finally able to see a detailed image of the progress of my tumor since my first scan back in May. I have lost all but a small mass that remains in the center of my chest. Based on its appearance, Dr. G believes it is likely to be only scar tissue, but we can't be sure until my next appointment when I will get at PET scan. The PET scan will show us if there are any cancerous cells remaining in my body. If there are, I will probably be headed for the stem cell transplant.
With regard to the transplant, I had a very interesting phone conversation with a girl named Amy who is from Kentucky and was matched with me through the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Amy was 25 when she was diagnosed with diffuse large B-cell NHL, and has now been in remission for 2 years after receiving chemo and a stem cell transplant. We were shocked to discover that there were many bizarre similarities between us. Both of us had tumors that covered our chest cavity and crushed our left lungs. Her lung had completely collapsed, while mine was about 3/4 collapsed. She was stage 4 though because cancerous fluid had already leaked into her lung. Mine thankfully had not.
Amy explained that she opted to do the stem cell transplant because her doctors said it would up her chances of being totally cured from about 50-60% to 80%. Based on how far along her cancer was at diagnosis, she was at high risk for relapsing and was thus a good candidate for a stem cell transplant. I am sort of in the same boat. Getting a transplant would clean my body out of all my old white blood cells and replace them with young healthy stem cells, but it comes at a hefty price. There is a mortality risk of 3%-30% depending on whether you receive your own cells or donor cells. I would be receiving my own, so the risk is lessened. The bigger problem is that after receiving the high doses of chemo involved with the transplant, it is unlikely that I would ever be able to have my own children....::sigh:: That always seems to be the way with this treatment. It's a constant weighing of risks and choosing the lesser of two evils.
For Amy, getting the transplant appears to have been the best course of action. She was hospitalized for 3 weeks and was out of commission for about a month after she returned home, but she has been cancer-free since. She told me to plan on taking about 2 months out of my life if I decide to go ahead with it, which would mean I would have to defer law school until next year. The school does not allow first year students to start in the spring, so I would lose an entire year of courses. I won't know if I am going to go to law school or have to get the transplant until my next chemo appointment, which falls just a few days before my first day of orientation at Widener. So as of now, things are just hanging in the balance. I am hopeful that I will not need the transplant, but I am also worried about the possibility of relapsing and having to go through all of this again if I don't get it. Decisions decisions...
Since I don't know yet if I am going to get this transplant or not, I have been moving forward as though I will be attending school full-time in a few weeks. Dad and I have been contacting the Dean regularly to update her on the situation, and I have already received homework, readings to prepare, and my class schedule in the mail. If I start, I will be taking 4 courses for a total of 15 credits. I will have 2 classes a day every day except Wednesdays when I have 3 and weekends. Orientation is set to begin on August 14th. Aaaah!! Time is running out and there is so much I still want to do this summer.
Thankfully I was able to book my birthday trip with Dan to Gettysburg, PA. Dan is paying for us to spend 2 nights at a beautiful farmhouse bed and breakfast located 9 miles from Gettysburg near the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains. I spoke with the innkeeper on the phone yesterday and she sounded so nice! Our trip is scheduled for August 6-8, and we plan to explore the historic battlefields, go on a ghost tour, and maybe do some hiking or bike-riding while we're there (or perhaps even horse-back-riding?? we shall see). I can't wait!
Anyway, it's time for me to run to the post office and get some things done. I have been trying to get birthday thank-yous in the mail and working on presents for my roommates which I am finally sending out today. I made them mix CD's of all of our favorite songs from this year. I think they turned out pretty cute. Tonight I am going up to Philly with 3 of my friends to see my favorite band, Guster, in concert at Penn's Landing and go out to dinner at Dave & Buster's. It should be a great time.
Lots of love to everyone :)
Lauren
Monday, July 16, 2007
overdue update
aaah I can't believe I let 10 days go by without an update! That's pretty bad. I suppose it's a good thing though, because it means I've been busy having fun and staying active.
I can't remember exactly what order I did any of these things in, so I'm just going to kind of randomly summarize the past week and a half.
I ended up getting to see fireworks at Dan's house on the Friday after the 4th of July. In keeping with tradition, the Mahler men set off a series of small explosives in the driveway while Kathleen, Mrs. Mahler and I watched. It was a lot of fun. After visiting with Dan for a bit, I headed down to Trolley Square for a drink with my friends at Catherine Rooney's pub. We had a nice time and I saw a ton of people I knew from high school and grade school. That's Delaware for you!
On Saturday, Dan and I went up to West Chester for Dan Farrell's graduation party. Farrell was Dan's roommate for nearly all 4 years when he was at Millersville. His family has a beautiful home with a pool and hot tub that sits on a fairly big plot of land, so we enjoyed a night of swimming, football, tons of food, and good times chatting with Dan's friends from MU. It was great seeing all of them again.
Monday night I went out to dinner at Kelly's Logan House with Meggie and Caitlyn, who I haven't seen since high school. We had such a good time! Caitlyn was one of my best friends back in the day when I attended IHM, and I think we picked up right where we left off. Hopefully I'll see her again soon. I think I've said this already, but I really am grateful for the way being sick has sort of helped me reconnect with friends I've lost touch with over the years. I suppose cancer is the kick in the pants that I needed to pick up the phone and see how my old friends are doing.
Tuesday I hung out with Dan. We saw Transformers, which was pretty good for an action movie. I thought the romance part was a little cheesy though. We went to Friendly's after the movie and got ice cream and dinner.
Wednesday Amy came over and we went out to lunch with Keen. I took them to Bon Appetite since I enjoyed it so much when Jenny took me there a few weeks ago. We had a nice lunch and chatted about our years growing up in Deerhurst where Amy was our neighbor across the street. I can't believe how long ago that was. It makes me feel very old seeing how much all of the neighborhood kids have grown up!
Thursday I drove down to Baltimore to see Kelli, Janine, Lindsay and Susan. Kelli Larson was my boss at the Alcohol and Drug Education office at Loyola. She was also the adviser to the Alcohol and Drug Education Team, which Janine, Susan and I were student coordinators for. We had a deliiicious dinner at a Cuban restaurant called Little Havana. It was right on the harbor in Federal Hill, and our table was outside overlooking the water! I got crab quesadillas (and Susan did too...we always have the same taste! haha). We had such a good time catching up. Kelli made me cupcakes for my birthday (which is this Saturday) and brought me a bag of my favorite candies. Yum! Kelli has been a great friend and mentor to us, and is someone that I truly admire. She is due to have her first baby in September, so I was really excited to see her and hear all about her progress. I can't wait to meet baby Larson in the fall when he or she arrives :)
After dinner I drove down to Annapolis where Susan lives and spent the night at her house. I got to meet her adorable golden retrievers, Josh and Ben. I think I definitely want to have a dog some day...and a cat...and a horse...haha. But anyway, it was fun getting to visit her home and I slept like a baby!
The next day I drove to Fenwick beach in lower Delaware to see Meggie and Kristen at Meggie's family's beach house. The house sits right on an inlet and we all sat out on the porch and had margaritas and a delicious taco casserole dinner that I loved (I am a huge fan of anything Mexican). After dinner, Meggie's boyfriend Joe arrived and we drove down to Ocean City, MD (which is about 10 minutes away) to go to a beach club/bar/restaurant called Seacrets. This place was nuts! I can't imagine how much money this business makes in one night, because it's absolutely humongous. Seacrets sits right on the beach and has many different sections within it. There is a beach club, a night club, an ocean bar that sits right in the water and has inner tubes and tables where you can be served drinks, a dock where boats can come and get dinner and drinks, a beach restaurant, tons of different bars all made to look like beach huts, two stages featuring different live bands, rooms with different DJ's playing everything from 80s to techno to hiphop to reggae, and tons of food stands selling pizza, funnel cake, etc. Needless to say we had a GREAT time there. I was DD, so I only had one drink, but it was delicious! I tried the "Pain in de Ass", the club's signature drink. It was a pina colada/rum runner swirled together. I also ordered fries and we sat out on the beach restaurant surrounded by palm trees and tons of tiki torches. It felt like we were in the Caribbean! We all had a great time dancing too.
After spending the night at Meggie's, we spent the day laying out on the beach. It was perfect weather and the water was nice and warm. At dinner time we headed up to the Rehobeth boardwalk for some pizza and ice cream. I drove home that night and went over to the Levine's where Dan was dog-sitting. They have a golden retriever named Scout. He was so cute! He climbed right in my lap on the couch and watched tv with us. haha
Dan came over last night for dinner and we went to Rita's for water ice and then watched Big Brother with my parents. They are obsessed with that show. I think it's pretty ridiculous.
Anyway, that's what has been going on with me. Aside from being sick, I'm having a great summer. I am doing my best to use my time wisely and enjoy this work-free summer as much as possible. I've been feeling great and exercising a lot to try to take off some of the weight I've gained from the Prednisone. Dr. G said I'm allowed to exercise as long as I don't do anything crazy. I'm also trying to eat healthier, although I may not do too well this week with my birthday coming up on Saturday.
As for my treatment, my 4th round of chemo is coming up on July 24th. There was an interesting article on the cover of the New York Times on Saturday about two revolutionary new drugs for treating lymphoma that are not being widely used because of marketing issues. I want to talk to Dr. G about them and find out what he thinks. These drugs were able to cure late-stage Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma with only 1 hour of receiving the drug through IV. Isn't that amazing?!?! So far they are approved for treating indolent lymphomas (the slow growing type. mine is aggressive), but they are also being used to treat people who have failed the CHOP-R treatment (which is what I'm receiving now). In the years to come, they could be replacing CHOP-R as the preferred treatment for all types of lymphoma, but first they need more evidence to prove that these drugs increase survival rates in patients. Recent studies only suggest that they are better. This is definitely something that I want to learn more about...
Time for me to go do my aerobics routine. That's a pretty good sign if my lungs are working well enough for me to do cardio workouts, eh? I am very pleased :)
I hope everyone is feeling as great as I am!
Lauren
I can't remember exactly what order I did any of these things in, so I'm just going to kind of randomly summarize the past week and a half.
I ended up getting to see fireworks at Dan's house on the Friday after the 4th of July. In keeping with tradition, the Mahler men set off a series of small explosives in the driveway while Kathleen, Mrs. Mahler and I watched. It was a lot of fun. After visiting with Dan for a bit, I headed down to Trolley Square for a drink with my friends at Catherine Rooney's pub. We had a nice time and I saw a ton of people I knew from high school and grade school. That's Delaware for you!
On Saturday, Dan and I went up to West Chester for Dan Farrell's graduation party. Farrell was Dan's roommate for nearly all 4 years when he was at Millersville. His family has a beautiful home with a pool and hot tub that sits on a fairly big plot of land, so we enjoyed a night of swimming, football, tons of food, and good times chatting with Dan's friends from MU. It was great seeing all of them again.
Monday night I went out to dinner at Kelly's Logan House with Meggie and Caitlyn, who I haven't seen since high school. We had such a good time! Caitlyn was one of my best friends back in the day when I attended IHM, and I think we picked up right where we left off. Hopefully I'll see her again soon. I think I've said this already, but I really am grateful for the way being sick has sort of helped me reconnect with friends I've lost touch with over the years. I suppose cancer is the kick in the pants that I needed to pick up the phone and see how my old friends are doing.
Tuesday I hung out with Dan. We saw Transformers, which was pretty good for an action movie. I thought the romance part was a little cheesy though. We went to Friendly's after the movie and got ice cream and dinner.
Wednesday Amy came over and we went out to lunch with Keen. I took them to Bon Appetite since I enjoyed it so much when Jenny took me there a few weeks ago. We had a nice lunch and chatted about our years growing up in Deerhurst where Amy was our neighbor across the street. I can't believe how long ago that was. It makes me feel very old seeing how much all of the neighborhood kids have grown up!
Thursday I drove down to Baltimore to see Kelli, Janine, Lindsay and Susan. Kelli Larson was my boss at the Alcohol and Drug Education office at Loyola. She was also the adviser to the Alcohol and Drug Education Team, which Janine, Susan and I were student coordinators for. We had a deliiicious dinner at a Cuban restaurant called Little Havana. It was right on the harbor in Federal Hill, and our table was outside overlooking the water! I got crab quesadillas (and Susan did too...we always have the same taste! haha). We had such a good time catching up. Kelli made me cupcakes for my birthday (which is this Saturday) and brought me a bag of my favorite candies. Yum! Kelli has been a great friend and mentor to us, and is someone that I truly admire. She is due to have her first baby in September, so I was really excited to see her and hear all about her progress. I can't wait to meet baby Larson in the fall when he or she arrives :)
After dinner I drove down to Annapolis where Susan lives and spent the night at her house. I got to meet her adorable golden retrievers, Josh and Ben. I think I definitely want to have a dog some day...and a cat...and a horse...haha. But anyway, it was fun getting to visit her home and I slept like a baby!
The next day I drove to Fenwick beach in lower Delaware to see Meggie and Kristen at Meggie's family's beach house. The house sits right on an inlet and we all sat out on the porch and had margaritas and a delicious taco casserole dinner that I loved (I am a huge fan of anything Mexican). After dinner, Meggie's boyfriend Joe arrived and we drove down to Ocean City, MD (which is about 10 minutes away) to go to a beach club/bar/restaurant called Seacrets. This place was nuts! I can't imagine how much money this business makes in one night, because it's absolutely humongous. Seacrets sits right on the beach and has many different sections within it. There is a beach club, a night club, an ocean bar that sits right in the water and has inner tubes and tables where you can be served drinks, a dock where boats can come and get dinner and drinks, a beach restaurant, tons of different bars all made to look like beach huts, two stages featuring different live bands, rooms with different DJ's playing everything from 80s to techno to hiphop to reggae, and tons of food stands selling pizza, funnel cake, etc. Needless to say we had a GREAT time there. I was DD, so I only had one drink, but it was delicious! I tried the "Pain in de Ass", the club's signature drink. It was a pina colada/rum runner swirled together. I also ordered fries and we sat out on the beach restaurant surrounded by palm trees and tons of tiki torches. It felt like we were in the Caribbean! We all had a great time dancing too.
After spending the night at Meggie's, we spent the day laying out on the beach. It was perfect weather and the water was nice and warm. At dinner time we headed up to the Rehobeth boardwalk for some pizza and ice cream. I drove home that night and went over to the Levine's where Dan was dog-sitting. They have a golden retriever named Scout. He was so cute! He climbed right in my lap on the couch and watched tv with us. haha
Dan came over last night for dinner and we went to Rita's for water ice and then watched Big Brother with my parents. They are obsessed with that show. I think it's pretty ridiculous.
Anyway, that's what has been going on with me. Aside from being sick, I'm having a great summer. I am doing my best to use my time wisely and enjoy this work-free summer as much as possible. I've been feeling great and exercising a lot to try to take off some of the weight I've gained from the Prednisone. Dr. G said I'm allowed to exercise as long as I don't do anything crazy. I'm also trying to eat healthier, although I may not do too well this week with my birthday coming up on Saturday.
As for my treatment, my 4th round of chemo is coming up on July 24th. There was an interesting article on the cover of the New York Times on Saturday about two revolutionary new drugs for treating lymphoma that are not being widely used because of marketing issues. I want to talk to Dr. G about them and find out what he thinks. These drugs were able to cure late-stage Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma with only 1 hour of receiving the drug through IV. Isn't that amazing?!?! So far they are approved for treating indolent lymphomas (the slow growing type. mine is aggressive), but they are also being used to treat people who have failed the CHOP-R treatment (which is what I'm receiving now). In the years to come, they could be replacing CHOP-R as the preferred treatment for all types of lymphoma, but first they need more evidence to prove that these drugs increase survival rates in patients. Recent studies only suggest that they are better. This is definitely something that I want to learn more about...
Time for me to go do my aerobics routine. That's a pretty good sign if my lungs are working well enough for me to do cardio workouts, eh? I am very pleased :)
I hope everyone is feeling as great as I am!
Lauren
Thursday, July 5, 2007
happy (belated) 4th!
Hello everyone,
So it ended up being a fireworkless 4th of July for me. The Longwood Gardens show was sold out, and then Dan's family fireworks display had to be postponed due to the rainy weather and tornado watches that we had here yesterday. I still had a great holiday though.
On Tuesday we went to the Farmhouse at Loch Nairn golf course up in PA for my parents' 25th anniversary. It's always such a treat to go there. I had lobster bisque, the house salad with strawberry vinaigrette, and maple glazed salmon with an apple crepe of some sort. Dan came and we all had a great time. Our waiter was the same French waiter we had the last time we were there (Aunt Pat, you and Kate may remember this guy). When Dan mentioned that he had just returned from traveling in France, they got into a lengthy chat about French history and movies...lol. He was nice though.
Yesterday I went to Dan's for 4th of July dinner and fireworks. Every year he, his Dad, and his brother Jon put on a fireworks show in the driveway (with the small kind that are legal in PA, of course). Unfortunately there were tornado watches and thunderstorms, so we had to postpone the festivities until this weekend. But it was still a nice night. Dan and I got to talk and relax for a while after dinner.
Dan is back to work today at Bournelyf Special Camp, a day camp for children with special needs. He has worked there for the past 2 summers and loves it. In the fall he will begin teaching English at Nativity Preparatory School in downtown Wilmington. Nativity Prep was established in 2003 by the Oblates of St. Francis DeSales as a school for low-income boys in grades 5-8. It is tuition free, and students have to be very hardworking and disciplined to get in since classes are limited to 10-15 students. Once they graduate, the students win scholarships to local college-prep high schools. It should be an amazing place for Dan to begin his teaching career. I am so proud of him.
Anyway, today I'm finishing some cleaning in my room. I'm trying to purge as much as possible from my closets to give to Good Will. My room is just too packed for me to function anymore. I figure I should make good use of my job-free summer and get it cleaned out. So far I've filled 6 trash bags with clothes, shoes, purses, and more. It feels good to be rid of the clutter!
I also got an absolutely fantastic package in the mail today from one of my best friends, Kristen! She is living up in Boston for the summer where she is majoring in pharmaceuticals at Northeastern. A few years ago when I was going through a tough time, she made me a "Fuck It Bucket", which is an idea she got from the book "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris (an absolutely hilarious book). The package I received today contained an even bigger "Cancer Edition" of the Fuck It Bucket filled with cookies :) She also sent me a Boston Redsocks mascot, funky band aids, and a box of ghetto slang flashcards to make me laugh. She decorated the whole bucket with pictures of us and stickers and all sorts of cute stuff. I have the world's best friends. I really do.
I also have the world's best family. I got a gooorgeous vase filled with flowers from Uncle Will's sisters, Nora and Rosemarie. I'm not sure if they knew it, but lilies are my favorite! There are several yellow ones in the arrangement and they just bloomed. It's so nice to see them brightening up the kitchen.
Last week I got to have lunch with my mom and Grandmom at a great Mexican restaurant, Don Pablo's. I had a strawberry margarita (I can have a teensy bit to drink once in a while) and a huge chimichanga covered in cheese. I haven't found many Mexican restaurants that live up to La Tolteca, but this one was great. I'm going to have to take Dan there and see what he thinks.
....Is it just me, or do my journal entries tend to be very food-focused??? haha I think it's all this Prednisone talking. I'm back on that for 5 days now that I'm done my 3rd round of chemo, and it's making me hungry constantly. I'm trying to stay more active though. I've been power walking a lot with my mom around the neighborhood and going with my dad to Bellevue State Park. My 3rd round of chemo was Tuesday and it went very well, although it took longer than last time because the center was so packed with people getting treatment around the holiday. I didn't get sick, just very sleepy from the Benadryl, and I got a visit from one of the PAWS dogs, a golden retriever named Sadie. She was adorable, and I fed her a treat :) I really enjoy seeing the dogs when I'm there.
I had a physical and a meeting with Dr. G before my treatment, and I am doing very well. My white blood cell count was almost totally normal and my lungs are sounding better than ever. I got an x-ray which showed that about 2/3 of my tumor is gone. It is going to take another round or 2 before it will be totally wiped out since it was such a bulky mass to begin with, but we're making good progress and I'm handling treatment very well. Dr. G warned me that I'll probably start to feel a lot more exhausted and have more memory problems as the weeks progress. I may have problems with hand-eye coordination and just lose my mental sharpness in general. I have been feeling better as the chemo drugs have been attacking my cancer, but now that there is less cancer to attack, the drugs will basically just be attacking the rest of me. I'm nervous about what that might mean, but I suppose there's nothing to do but keep going with the flow.
In about 6 weeks, Dr. G wants to sit down and talk about whether I look like I'm headed for a complete cure, or if things are still "iffy"...depending on where I stand, we will be deciding if I should receive a stem cell transplant. That procedure would help safeguard me against a relapse, since I'm in a risk group for relapsing due to the size and stage of my cancer, but it would also mean a 3 week stay in the hospital after my chemo finishes up in October. This would pose a problem if I am intending on starting law school in the fall, so I have to get in touch with the dean at Widener and decide if it would be best for me to start or put off my enrollment until spring semester. I honestly don't know what to do. I really want to start school, but I also want to do whatever it takes to kick this cancer for good. There really isn't an easy solution to any of this, but I'm sure whatever is meant to be will be.
All right, I'm going to wrap this up now. I have a coffee date soon with Chiya, Colleen and Sara at BrewHaha, so I'm off to get ready. I hope everyone had a lovely 4th!
Lots of love,
Lauren
So it ended up being a fireworkless 4th of July for me. The Longwood Gardens show was sold out, and then Dan's family fireworks display had to be postponed due to the rainy weather and tornado watches that we had here yesterday. I still had a great holiday though.
On Tuesday we went to the Farmhouse at Loch Nairn golf course up in PA for my parents' 25th anniversary. It's always such a treat to go there. I had lobster bisque, the house salad with strawberry vinaigrette, and maple glazed salmon with an apple crepe of some sort. Dan came and we all had a great time. Our waiter was the same French waiter we had the last time we were there (Aunt Pat, you and Kate may remember this guy). When Dan mentioned that he had just returned from traveling in France, they got into a lengthy chat about French history and movies...lol. He was nice though.
Yesterday I went to Dan's for 4th of July dinner and fireworks. Every year he, his Dad, and his brother Jon put on a fireworks show in the driveway (with the small kind that are legal in PA, of course). Unfortunately there were tornado watches and thunderstorms, so we had to postpone the festivities until this weekend. But it was still a nice night. Dan and I got to talk and relax for a while after dinner.
Dan is back to work today at Bournelyf Special Camp, a day camp for children with special needs. He has worked there for the past 2 summers and loves it. In the fall he will begin teaching English at Nativity Preparatory School in downtown Wilmington. Nativity Prep was established in 2003 by the Oblates of St. Francis DeSales as a school for low-income boys in grades 5-8. It is tuition free, and students have to be very hardworking and disciplined to get in since classes are limited to 10-15 students. Once they graduate, the students win scholarships to local college-prep high schools. It should be an amazing place for Dan to begin his teaching career. I am so proud of him.
Anyway, today I'm finishing some cleaning in my room. I'm trying to purge as much as possible from my closets to give to Good Will. My room is just too packed for me to function anymore. I figure I should make good use of my job-free summer and get it cleaned out. So far I've filled 6 trash bags with clothes, shoes, purses, and more. It feels good to be rid of the clutter!
I also got an absolutely fantastic package in the mail today from one of my best friends, Kristen! She is living up in Boston for the summer where she is majoring in pharmaceuticals at Northeastern. A few years ago when I was going through a tough time, she made me a "Fuck It Bucket", which is an idea she got from the book "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris (an absolutely hilarious book). The package I received today contained an even bigger "Cancer Edition" of the Fuck It Bucket filled with cookies :) She also sent me a Boston Redsocks mascot, funky band aids, and a box of ghetto slang flashcards to make me laugh. She decorated the whole bucket with pictures of us and stickers and all sorts of cute stuff. I have the world's best friends. I really do.
I also have the world's best family. I got a gooorgeous vase filled with flowers from Uncle Will's sisters, Nora and Rosemarie. I'm not sure if they knew it, but lilies are my favorite! There are several yellow ones in the arrangement and they just bloomed. It's so nice to see them brightening up the kitchen.
Last week I got to have lunch with my mom and Grandmom at a great Mexican restaurant, Don Pablo's. I had a strawberry margarita (I can have a teensy bit to drink once in a while) and a huge chimichanga covered in cheese. I haven't found many Mexican restaurants that live up to La Tolteca, but this one was great. I'm going to have to take Dan there and see what he thinks.
....Is it just me, or do my journal entries tend to be very food-focused??? haha I think it's all this Prednisone talking. I'm back on that for 5 days now that I'm done my 3rd round of chemo, and it's making me hungry constantly. I'm trying to stay more active though. I've been power walking a lot with my mom around the neighborhood and going with my dad to Bellevue State Park. My 3rd round of chemo was Tuesday and it went very well, although it took longer than last time because the center was so packed with people getting treatment around the holiday. I didn't get sick, just very sleepy from the Benadryl, and I got a visit from one of the PAWS dogs, a golden retriever named Sadie. She was adorable, and I fed her a treat :) I really enjoy seeing the dogs when I'm there.
I had a physical and a meeting with Dr. G before my treatment, and I am doing very well. My white blood cell count was almost totally normal and my lungs are sounding better than ever. I got an x-ray which showed that about 2/3 of my tumor is gone. It is going to take another round or 2 before it will be totally wiped out since it was such a bulky mass to begin with, but we're making good progress and I'm handling treatment very well. Dr. G warned me that I'll probably start to feel a lot more exhausted and have more memory problems as the weeks progress. I may have problems with hand-eye coordination and just lose my mental sharpness in general. I have been feeling better as the chemo drugs have been attacking my cancer, but now that there is less cancer to attack, the drugs will basically just be attacking the rest of me. I'm nervous about what that might mean, but I suppose there's nothing to do but keep going with the flow.
In about 6 weeks, Dr. G wants to sit down and talk about whether I look like I'm headed for a complete cure, or if things are still "iffy"...depending on where I stand, we will be deciding if I should receive a stem cell transplant. That procedure would help safeguard me against a relapse, since I'm in a risk group for relapsing due to the size and stage of my cancer, but it would also mean a 3 week stay in the hospital after my chemo finishes up in October. This would pose a problem if I am intending on starting law school in the fall, so I have to get in touch with the dean at Widener and decide if it would be best for me to start or put off my enrollment until spring semester. I honestly don't know what to do. I really want to start school, but I also want to do whatever it takes to kick this cancer for good. There really isn't an easy solution to any of this, but I'm sure whatever is meant to be will be.
All right, I'm going to wrap this up now. I have a coffee date soon with Chiya, Colleen and Sara at BrewHaha, so I'm off to get ready. I hope everyone had a lovely 4th!
Lots of love,
Lauren
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
quick update
I'm off to chemo round 3 in a few minutes. Hopefully it goes as smoothly as last time did. I'm not nervous this time and Dad will be coming with me. I'm actually pretty sleepy, so perhaps I'll just nap through the whole thing.
Dan came home from his europe trip yesterday! I went to the airport with Mrs. Mahler and Dan's sister Kathleen to pick him up. It was so great to finally see him. I can't believe it's been a whole month! We had a nice relaxing evening back at his house. Dan's mom made his favorite dinner and we all sat and chatted about the trip.
Today will be a busy day. It's my parents' 25th wedding anniversary (yay!!) so we're going out for a nice dinner at the Farmhouse restaurant and then to the fireworks/fountain show at Longwood Gardens. I'll update again tomorrow and let you know how it went. I have a lot more to share, but it will have to wait.
Adios for now!
Lauren
Dan came home from his europe trip yesterday! I went to the airport with Mrs. Mahler and Dan's sister Kathleen to pick him up. It was so great to finally see him. I can't believe it's been a whole month! We had a nice relaxing evening back at his house. Dan's mom made his favorite dinner and we all sat and chatted about the trip.
Today will be a busy day. It's my parents' 25th wedding anniversary (yay!!) so we're going out for a nice dinner at the Farmhouse restaurant and then to the fireworks/fountain show at Longwood Gardens. I'll update again tomorrow and let you know how it went. I have a lot more to share, but it will have to wait.
Adios for now!
Lauren
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
fate, God, and grandfathers
Hello again,
It's been a busy but very enjoyable week since my last post. On Thursday, Dad and I participated in the Heart of a Champion 5k to raise money for the McDonough family. Andrew McDonough, who goes to Salesianum (the brother school to my high school), was hospitalized in January and has been battling Leukemia and serious infections. Though I have never met Andrew myself, my parents know the McDonough family, so Dad and I really wanted to go and show them our support. It was an AMAZING event. I was nearly brought to tears by the overwhelming strength of the McDonough family, especially Andrew. Shortly before the race he had managed to pull through a difficult brain surgery and MRI. He faces a much tougher journey than I do, and he is so young. He really is an inspiration and a true champion. Please keep him and his family in your prayers!
About 800 people from the community came out and ran or walked the 3.1 miles around the Brandywine River and Salesianum. It is comforting to live in a community that truly feels like a big family. Dad and I saw so many people we know at the race. We all wore t-shirts bearing the slogan "B+" (Be Positive) on the front and "Pray for Andrew" on the back.
Dad and I agreed that I should walk (though I really wish I could have run) while he ran. I power walked the entire way without stopping and finished in about 50 minutes. You cannot imagine how happy I was to discover that I could walk up and down all those hills and not feel out of breath for the first time in months! Hopefully this means that my left lung has re-inflated and my lung power has been restored to some extent. A month ago I was gasping for air just trying to walk to class at Loyola. I pushed myself to walk as fast as possible (which may or may not have been a good idea...), but it really lifted my spirits to see that I could do it.
On Saturday I went down to Annapolis to reunite with Mary Beth, Annette, Susan, Janine and Lindsay at Lindsay's graduation party. We had the best time!! Lindsay's house sits right on the water and is absolutely gorgeous. I felt like I was on vacation. We had a delicious dinner and cake and then watched a movie. On Sunday we had breakfast out on the Bellomo's deck overlooking the water and then went to downtown Annapolis for an Irish festival. The streets were filled with tents selling food, clothes, and all sorts of Irish goods. There were several groups of Irish dancers and a bagpipe troupe. We walked all around town, had lunch at a pub, and then got ice cream. It was a great weekend and I was absolutely exhausted when I got home! I can't wait to see my roommates again. I am so lucky to have those girls in my life :)
Monday was another busy day. I had lunch at Bon Appetite with Jenny, who I haven't seen in ages. It was great to catch up. Jenny's mom works at the Helen Graham Center where I am being treated, and she ran into me there when I was getting my first round of chemo. Not the place one would hope to run into old friends, but it was definitely meant to be. If nothing else, I can thank this darn disease for helping me to rekindle some friendships and really appreciate the people in my life.
Monday afternoon I attended a networking meeting at the Wellness Community for people with Leukemia and Lymphoma. It's a drop in group that meets once a month, so I was a bit hesitant to go, not knowing what to expect. All I can say now is that God and most definitely both of my grandfathers had a hand in my decision to go.
The meeting ended up consisting of just me and one other woman along with a nurse named Susan and social worker, Danielle, who were both there from the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society to facilitate the meeting. The woman and I introduced ourselves and shared our stories. Despite our age differences (she was in her 60s I believe), we ended up having a lot in common. She is in remission, having been treated last year for stage 4 NHL. She had 8 rounds of chemo followed by a transplant: the exact same treatment that I am receiving now. Knowing that there is a huge variety of lymphomas and treatments, this was pretty amazing in and of itself. The transplant is a procedure that I will be given the option of having once I finish chemo. Hearing this woman's story really made me sure that I should do it. She was hospitalized for a month, but she says it was the best decision that she ever made. She credits the transplant with helping her beat the odds and be cured from stage 4 cancer. It meant a lot to me to hear her advice. But that wasn't the best part of the meeting...
While making my introduction to the group, I mentioned that both of my grandfathers had battled Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and had passed away due to complications from additional cancers. The nurse, Susan, asked me when they had been treated and I told her the general time frames. She paused and then said "Oh my goodness...I think I treated your grandfather! Was his name Dan?"....I got chills. Not only did Susan know my Dedad, Dan O'Connell, but she also worked with Memom back when she did volunteer work for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. After the meeting ended, Susan and I chatted about what a great man my grandfather was and how I remind her so much of him and my grandmother :) She said she knew immediately that I had to be Dan's granddaughter. I left the meeting, went out to the parking lot, called my parents and cried. This just confirms for me even more that my grandfathers are watching over me and sending me signs of their support as I go through this journey. I think everyone left that meeting feeling that some greater power had brought us together.
After an emotional afternoon, I finished the day by going out to dinner with Chiya and Colleen at La Tolteca. We got ice cream for dessert at a new place that just opened on 202, Sweet Lucy's. It was decent, but no Bruster's. We then came back to my house and sat up on my bed chatting until about 2am....yikes! I just love those two. It was great to have a girls' night.
Today was a day of reading, baking, and watching Arrested Development with Mom and Dad. If you haven't seen that show, I suggest renting it. It is perhaps the funniest show ever made, which makes the fact that it got canceled after 3 seasons very disappointing. It won several well-deserved Emmy's though.
In other happy news, I received my second post card from Dan today, this time from Germany! It has a picture of the interior of a beautiful cathedral in Munich. He wrote that he has been adding my name to prayer books in churches and cathedrals all over Europe so that I'll have thousands of people all over the world praying for me. He is amazing :) I can't wait for him to get back. Only 5 more days!
Well, it's way past my bedtime, so I'm signing out for the night. I will try to update more frequently so these posts aren't so ridiculously long. I hope you are all well and enjoying the sunshine. I learn I have new readers every day. It amazes me! Thank you for all the love :)
Lots of love to all of you,
Lauren
It's been a busy but very enjoyable week since my last post. On Thursday, Dad and I participated in the Heart of a Champion 5k to raise money for the McDonough family. Andrew McDonough, who goes to Salesianum (the brother school to my high school), was hospitalized in January and has been battling Leukemia and serious infections. Though I have never met Andrew myself, my parents know the McDonough family, so Dad and I really wanted to go and show them our support. It was an AMAZING event. I was nearly brought to tears by the overwhelming strength of the McDonough family, especially Andrew. Shortly before the race he had managed to pull through a difficult brain surgery and MRI. He faces a much tougher journey than I do, and he is so young. He really is an inspiration and a true champion. Please keep him and his family in your prayers!
About 800 people from the community came out and ran or walked the 3.1 miles around the Brandywine River and Salesianum. It is comforting to live in a community that truly feels like a big family. Dad and I saw so many people we know at the race. We all wore t-shirts bearing the slogan "B+" (Be Positive) on the front and "Pray for Andrew" on the back.
Dad and I agreed that I should walk (though I really wish I could have run) while he ran. I power walked the entire way without stopping and finished in about 50 minutes. You cannot imagine how happy I was to discover that I could walk up and down all those hills and not feel out of breath for the first time in months! Hopefully this means that my left lung has re-inflated and my lung power has been restored to some extent. A month ago I was gasping for air just trying to walk to class at Loyola. I pushed myself to walk as fast as possible (which may or may not have been a good idea...), but it really lifted my spirits to see that I could do it.
On Saturday I went down to Annapolis to reunite with Mary Beth, Annette, Susan, Janine and Lindsay at Lindsay's graduation party. We had the best time!! Lindsay's house sits right on the water and is absolutely gorgeous. I felt like I was on vacation. We had a delicious dinner and cake and then watched a movie. On Sunday we had breakfast out on the Bellomo's deck overlooking the water and then went to downtown Annapolis for an Irish festival. The streets were filled with tents selling food, clothes, and all sorts of Irish goods. There were several groups of Irish dancers and a bagpipe troupe. We walked all around town, had lunch at a pub, and then got ice cream. It was a great weekend and I was absolutely exhausted when I got home! I can't wait to see my roommates again. I am so lucky to have those girls in my life :)
Monday was another busy day. I had lunch at Bon Appetite with Jenny, who I haven't seen in ages. It was great to catch up. Jenny's mom works at the Helen Graham Center where I am being treated, and she ran into me there when I was getting my first round of chemo. Not the place one would hope to run into old friends, but it was definitely meant to be. If nothing else, I can thank this darn disease for helping me to rekindle some friendships and really appreciate the people in my life.
Monday afternoon I attended a networking meeting at the Wellness Community for people with Leukemia and Lymphoma. It's a drop in group that meets once a month, so I was a bit hesitant to go, not knowing what to expect. All I can say now is that God and most definitely both of my grandfathers had a hand in my decision to go.
The meeting ended up consisting of just me and one other woman along with a nurse named Susan and social worker, Danielle, who were both there from the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society to facilitate the meeting. The woman and I introduced ourselves and shared our stories. Despite our age differences (she was in her 60s I believe), we ended up having a lot in common. She is in remission, having been treated last year for stage 4 NHL. She had 8 rounds of chemo followed by a transplant: the exact same treatment that I am receiving now. Knowing that there is a huge variety of lymphomas and treatments, this was pretty amazing in and of itself. The transplant is a procedure that I will be given the option of having once I finish chemo. Hearing this woman's story really made me sure that I should do it. She was hospitalized for a month, but she says it was the best decision that she ever made. She credits the transplant with helping her beat the odds and be cured from stage 4 cancer. It meant a lot to me to hear her advice. But that wasn't the best part of the meeting...
While making my introduction to the group, I mentioned that both of my grandfathers had battled Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and had passed away due to complications from additional cancers. The nurse, Susan, asked me when they had been treated and I told her the general time frames. She paused and then said "Oh my goodness...I think I treated your grandfather! Was his name Dan?"....I got chills. Not only did Susan know my Dedad, Dan O'Connell, but she also worked with Memom back when she did volunteer work for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. After the meeting ended, Susan and I chatted about what a great man my grandfather was and how I remind her so much of him and my grandmother :) She said she knew immediately that I had to be Dan's granddaughter. I left the meeting, went out to the parking lot, called my parents and cried. This just confirms for me even more that my grandfathers are watching over me and sending me signs of their support as I go through this journey. I think everyone left that meeting feeling that some greater power had brought us together.
After an emotional afternoon, I finished the day by going out to dinner with Chiya and Colleen at La Tolteca. We got ice cream for dessert at a new place that just opened on 202, Sweet Lucy's. It was decent, but no Bruster's. We then came back to my house and sat up on my bed chatting until about 2am....yikes! I just love those two. It was great to have a girls' night.
Today was a day of reading, baking, and watching Arrested Development with Mom and Dad. If you haven't seen that show, I suggest renting it. It is perhaps the funniest show ever made, which makes the fact that it got canceled after 3 seasons very disappointing. It won several well-deserved Emmy's though.
In other happy news, I received my second post card from Dan today, this time from Germany! It has a picture of the interior of a beautiful cathedral in Munich. He wrote that he has been adding my name to prayer books in churches and cathedrals all over Europe so that I'll have thousands of people all over the world praying for me. He is amazing :) I can't wait for him to get back. Only 5 more days!
Well, it's way past my bedtime, so I'm signing out for the night. I will try to update more frequently so these posts aren't so ridiculously long. I hope you are all well and enjoying the sunshine. I learn I have new readers every day. It amazes me! Thank you for all the love :)
Lots of love to all of you,
Lauren
Thursday, June 21, 2007
feeling good
Hi all :)
My updates have been pretty sparse since returning from the beach. Not much is going on. I've been doing a lot of movie-watching this week and anxiously counting down the days until Saturday when I head down to Annapolis for Lindsay's graduation party and a reunion with all of my former roommates from Loyola.
On Sunday we went out for Father's Day brunch with my Dad's side of the family. Kevin and Maureen Byrnes came up from Baltimore and it was great to see them. We all had a very nice brunch at Iron Hill Brewery.
Monday and Tuesday were spent running errands and making preparations for law school. Orientation is the second week of August, if I remember correctly. I can't believe how early it starts! I still need to select my courses. I'm assuming they'll have us do that at orientation.
Yesterday my sister and I went to the "Look Good...Feel Better!" program at the Wellness Community here in Wilmington. The Wellness Community is a house that has been converted into a center for people dealing with cancer. It's such a gorgeous place! The house is set back from the road in a wooded area and has a gorgeous garden. It also has a fully stocked kitchen, a beautiful den, and a studio room for yoga and other types of aerobics classes. They hold free programs there daily. There are support groups for every type of cancer, groups for families, educational seminars, crafting classes, and fun programs like the one I went to.
"Look Good...Feel Better!" is a program sponsored by the American Cancer Society that helps women dealing with cancer learn how to care for their hair and skin while undergoing treatment. Hair stylists and cosmetologists come and provide free wigs and makeup products to all the participants. It was so much fun! I received a huge box of probably around $200 worth of really nice makeup from Chanel, Clinique, Estee Lauder, and others. Unfortunately they ran out of the kits for people with "light" skin tones, so my kit was "dark." I get to keep it, but they're also going to have another kit mailed to the center that will have the right products for me. The kit I have now has a lot of really nice things in it, so I'm not complaining :)
The best part of the program was getting to meet other women who are dealing with cancer. There were probably 8 of us there total. I ended up seated at a table with two very nice and very outgoing ladies, Jacquie and Joy. They are older than me, but probably only in their 30s or early 40s. After we had been sitting there playing with our makeup for a while, we all started chatting about our different cancer experiences. It turns out that they both have Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma too! I was excited to meet some women who could relate to my situation. We exchanged phone numbers and they want to meet up for lunch.
I was also very excited to learn that Joy is being treated at UPenn by Dr. Glick. Aunt Kara originally told me about him and I have been hearing quite a bit about him since. He specializes in lymphoma treatment and is supposedly the best in the region. I am interested to talk more with Joy about her treatment. She is receiving R-CHOP chemo (the same drugs I am getting), but she only has to go for 3 rounds because they caught hers very early. I don't think I will switch doctors, since Dr. G has been absolutely fantastic, but I would definitely consider getting a second opinion from Dr. Glick. I hear he's very hard to get an appointment with though.
In addition to all of this, I learned techniques for wearing scarves and various head wraps at the "Look Good...Feel Better" program. The instructors also taught me a lot about how to care for my scalp and promote hair growth once my treatment is finished. They answered all of my makeup and beauty questions. It was a very fun and informative session! Now that I am a registered member, I am going to start attending the yoga classes at the Wellness Community. It was such a welcoming environment :)
Last night was also fun-filled. Mrs. Clark, my next door neighbor, came over with flowers and a huge bowl of chocolate chip cookies. It has been less than 24 hours since she brought them, and half the bowl is already gone. They are soooooo good! Uncle Ken came over and visited for a while too. Then my parents and I watched Music and Lyrics, which Kevin Byrnes recommended. It was really a cute movie. I also rented The Usual Suspects and the Reno 911 movie this past week. The Usual Suspects was great. Reno 911 was funny, but could've been better.
Anyway, that's what's been going on with me. I'm still feeling physically good too. I'm meeting Sara for lunch today at the Top Buffet (a buffet-style Chinese restaurant). Lunch dates there are a tradition for us. Sara and I have been friends since 3rd grade, but I haven't seen her in more than a year since she's been away at school in Michigan. I am so excited for our reunion! From Saturday-Sunday I will be in Annapolis, and then I have another lunch date with Jenny on Monday. Hooray :)
I probably won't post again until after I return from my weekend in Annapolis with my roommates. Until then, stay cool. It's really starting to feel like summer!
Lots of love,
Lauren
My updates have been pretty sparse since returning from the beach. Not much is going on. I've been doing a lot of movie-watching this week and anxiously counting down the days until Saturday when I head down to Annapolis for Lindsay's graduation party and a reunion with all of my former roommates from Loyola.
On Sunday we went out for Father's Day brunch with my Dad's side of the family. Kevin and Maureen Byrnes came up from Baltimore and it was great to see them. We all had a very nice brunch at Iron Hill Brewery.
Monday and Tuesday were spent running errands and making preparations for law school. Orientation is the second week of August, if I remember correctly. I can't believe how early it starts! I still need to select my courses. I'm assuming they'll have us do that at orientation.
Yesterday my sister and I went to the "Look Good...Feel Better!" program at the Wellness Community here in Wilmington. The Wellness Community is a house that has been converted into a center for people dealing with cancer. It's such a gorgeous place! The house is set back from the road in a wooded area and has a gorgeous garden. It also has a fully stocked kitchen, a beautiful den, and a studio room for yoga and other types of aerobics classes. They hold free programs there daily. There are support groups for every type of cancer, groups for families, educational seminars, crafting classes, and fun programs like the one I went to.
"Look Good...Feel Better!" is a program sponsored by the American Cancer Society that helps women dealing with cancer learn how to care for their hair and skin while undergoing treatment. Hair stylists and cosmetologists come and provide free wigs and makeup products to all the participants. It was so much fun! I received a huge box of probably around $200 worth of really nice makeup from Chanel, Clinique, Estee Lauder, and others. Unfortunately they ran out of the kits for people with "light" skin tones, so my kit was "dark." I get to keep it, but they're also going to have another kit mailed to the center that will have the right products for me. The kit I have now has a lot of really nice things in it, so I'm not complaining :)
The best part of the program was getting to meet other women who are dealing with cancer. There were probably 8 of us there total. I ended up seated at a table with two very nice and very outgoing ladies, Jacquie and Joy. They are older than me, but probably only in their 30s or early 40s. After we had been sitting there playing with our makeup for a while, we all started chatting about our different cancer experiences. It turns out that they both have Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma too! I was excited to meet some women who could relate to my situation. We exchanged phone numbers and they want to meet up for lunch.
I was also very excited to learn that Joy is being treated at UPenn by Dr. Glick. Aunt Kara originally told me about him and I have been hearing quite a bit about him since. He specializes in lymphoma treatment and is supposedly the best in the region. I am interested to talk more with Joy about her treatment. She is receiving R-CHOP chemo (the same drugs I am getting), but she only has to go for 3 rounds because they caught hers very early. I don't think I will switch doctors, since Dr. G has been absolutely fantastic, but I would definitely consider getting a second opinion from Dr. Glick. I hear he's very hard to get an appointment with though.
In addition to all of this, I learned techniques for wearing scarves and various head wraps at the "Look Good...Feel Better" program. The instructors also taught me a lot about how to care for my scalp and promote hair growth once my treatment is finished. They answered all of my makeup and beauty questions. It was a very fun and informative session! Now that I am a registered member, I am going to start attending the yoga classes at the Wellness Community. It was such a welcoming environment :)
Last night was also fun-filled. Mrs. Clark, my next door neighbor, came over with flowers and a huge bowl of chocolate chip cookies. It has been less than 24 hours since she brought them, and half the bowl is already gone. They are soooooo good! Uncle Ken came over and visited for a while too. Then my parents and I watched Music and Lyrics, which Kevin Byrnes recommended. It was really a cute movie. I also rented The Usual Suspects and the Reno 911 movie this past week. The Usual Suspects was great. Reno 911 was funny, but could've been better.
Anyway, that's what's been going on with me. I'm still feeling physically good too. I'm meeting Sara for lunch today at the Top Buffet (a buffet-style Chinese restaurant). Lunch dates there are a tradition for us. Sara and I have been friends since 3rd grade, but I haven't seen her in more than a year since she's been away at school in Michigan. I am so excited for our reunion! From Saturday-Sunday I will be in Annapolis, and then I have another lunch date with Jenny on Monday. Hooray :)
I probably won't post again until after I return from my weekend in Annapolis with my roommates. Until then, stay cool. It's really starting to feel like summer!
Lots of love,
Lauren
Saturday, June 16, 2007
home again
Hello hello,
Aaaah our beach vacation was so nice! I'm sad that it's over. I kind of needed to tune out the world for a week and just take it easy...I did quite a bit since my last update, but I'll do my best to keep this summary short.
Tuesday I went home for my second round of chemo. I was really nervous going into it, but it actually wasn't bad at all. Dad had to be in court for the beginning, so I was by myself for the first few hours. That was probably the only bad part. It's easier for me to not think about the needles and things when I have someone there to talk to. But luckily the case was dismissed and Dad was able to come for about half of the time. He brought me lunch from BrewHaHa, which was delicious :) I napped, read my book, and watched the thunderstorm outside the window. There were tons of birds out on the lake behind the center too, which was nice.
En total, my treatment took only about 4 hours this time. I was amazed! I didn't get sick at all, and they didn't have to slow down the drip. Yay! Hopefully all my treatments from here on out will go that smoothly. Dr. G thinks I got sick the first time because my tumor began deteriorating very rapidly. He believes that the rapid deterioration is also what landed me in the hospital, and he doesn't think that will happen again. If it does, I will start getting a shot of Neulasta the day after my chemo. Neulasta helps the body produce more white blood cells, but Dr. G isn't going to put me on it unless he feels it is absolutely necessary because there isn't enough information about the long term side effects of its usage.
After my chemo ended, Dad and I drove back to the beach and I crashed for the night. On Wednesday, Mom, Keen and I went shopping. Keen and I both got some tops for summer and I found a fantastic suit on sale at a very fancy boutique. It was a fun day :) We went up to the boardwalk later and saw the movie Knocked Up. Maybe not the best movie to see with my parents, but it was very funny.
On Thursday we had cold weather, but we made the most of it. We went up to the boardwalk and played a round of minigolf and had dinner at very nice restaurant called Periwinkle's. Unfortunately my family encountered some drama on the minigolf course. Everyone seems to get a kick out of this story, so I suppose I'll share it here...
About midway through our 18 holes of golf, a group of 3 boys who started playing shortly after us caught up to my family and started being very obnoxious. They were probably around 17 or 18...I'm not really sure, but they were behaving like 5-year-olds. They were using their clubs to whack at virtually everything in sight and walking onto the greens we were playing on to "check out the hole" while we were still finishing our turn. We were scoring hole-in-ones on virtually every hole, so there was no cause for impatience. They were just being rude for no apparent reason. I started to get annoyed, and made some comments about how kids shouldn't do drugs. I guess they heard me, because they started saying things back and making an obvious effort to disrupt our game. Finally I got fed up. I suppose the steroids are really getting to me, because I ripped off my whig in a mad fit of rage and said "Excuse me, but I have cancer, so could you please chill out so I can enjoy my time with my family?!?!? THANKS!"
I have never seen such terror in all my life. Their mouths were just hanging open. They looked pretty embarrassed, and they hide from us for the remainder of the time we were there. I put my wig back on and finished the rest of the course. My family thought it was hysterical. It's a shame it had to come to that, but hopefully I saved the next family that plays golf around those kids some aggravation.
After that eventful evening, we spent Friday relaxing. We got breakfast at a place I've never tried before: Uncle Bill's Pancake House. Man was that some amazing food! I liked it so much that I went back this morning and got more pancakes with Keen. Friday evening Dad made steaks for dinner and we had family game night. In keeping with our beach week tradition, we played spades: Keen and I versus Mom and Dad. Keen and I delivered a crushing defeat, beating Mom and Dad 520 to 161. We celebrated by eating a lot of fudge and gloating. It was great. haha
Today was cleaning and packing day. Keen and I left early with Winky, who slept on the back of my seat with his head on my shoulder for most of the drive home. Tonight my parents and I rented Dream Girls and had a nice bonding night together while Keen went to the Italian Festival with her friends. The movie was pretty good. I can definitely see why Jennifer Hudson won the Oscar...but anyway, I'm beat.
Between the family fun I spent most of my time napping while we were at the beach. I get these waves of exhaustion and sleep for usually around 3 hours at a time. It's very strange. But I suppose if I'm going to have any side effects from this round, I'll take exhaustion over the sore throat, the fever, the hospital, or any of that other junk. Here's hoping things just keep getting better...Tomorrow should be great. We're going to Father's Day mass at St. Joe's and then out to brunch with my Dad's side of the family. I'm excited to see everyone!
Love and hugs and happy Father's Day to all the dads reading this :)
Lauren
Aaaah our beach vacation was so nice! I'm sad that it's over. I kind of needed to tune out the world for a week and just take it easy...I did quite a bit since my last update, but I'll do my best to keep this summary short.
Tuesday I went home for my second round of chemo. I was really nervous going into it, but it actually wasn't bad at all. Dad had to be in court for the beginning, so I was by myself for the first few hours. That was probably the only bad part. It's easier for me to not think about the needles and things when I have someone there to talk to. But luckily the case was dismissed and Dad was able to come for about half of the time. He brought me lunch from BrewHaHa, which was delicious :) I napped, read my book, and watched the thunderstorm outside the window. There were tons of birds out on the lake behind the center too, which was nice.
En total, my treatment took only about 4 hours this time. I was amazed! I didn't get sick at all, and they didn't have to slow down the drip. Yay! Hopefully all my treatments from here on out will go that smoothly. Dr. G thinks I got sick the first time because my tumor began deteriorating very rapidly. He believes that the rapid deterioration is also what landed me in the hospital, and he doesn't think that will happen again. If it does, I will start getting a shot of Neulasta the day after my chemo. Neulasta helps the body produce more white blood cells, but Dr. G isn't going to put me on it unless he feels it is absolutely necessary because there isn't enough information about the long term side effects of its usage.
After my chemo ended, Dad and I drove back to the beach and I crashed for the night. On Wednesday, Mom, Keen and I went shopping. Keen and I both got some tops for summer and I found a fantastic suit on sale at a very fancy boutique. It was a fun day :) We went up to the boardwalk later and saw the movie Knocked Up. Maybe not the best movie to see with my parents, but it was very funny.
On Thursday we had cold weather, but we made the most of it. We went up to the boardwalk and played a round of minigolf and had dinner at very nice restaurant called Periwinkle's. Unfortunately my family encountered some drama on the minigolf course. Everyone seems to get a kick out of this story, so I suppose I'll share it here...
About midway through our 18 holes of golf, a group of 3 boys who started playing shortly after us caught up to my family and started being very obnoxious. They were probably around 17 or 18...I'm not really sure, but they were behaving like 5-year-olds. They were using their clubs to whack at virtually everything in sight and walking onto the greens we were playing on to "check out the hole" while we were still finishing our turn. We were scoring hole-in-ones on virtually every hole, so there was no cause for impatience. They were just being rude for no apparent reason. I started to get annoyed, and made some comments about how kids shouldn't do drugs. I guess they heard me, because they started saying things back and making an obvious effort to disrupt our game. Finally I got fed up. I suppose the steroids are really getting to me, because I ripped off my whig in a mad fit of rage and said "Excuse me, but I have cancer, so could you please chill out so I can enjoy my time with my family?!?!? THANKS!"
I have never seen such terror in all my life. Their mouths were just hanging open. They looked pretty embarrassed, and they hide from us for the remainder of the time we were there. I put my wig back on and finished the rest of the course. My family thought it was hysterical. It's a shame it had to come to that, but hopefully I saved the next family that plays golf around those kids some aggravation.
After that eventful evening, we spent Friday relaxing. We got breakfast at a place I've never tried before: Uncle Bill's Pancake House. Man was that some amazing food! I liked it so much that I went back this morning and got more pancakes with Keen. Friday evening Dad made steaks for dinner and we had family game night. In keeping with our beach week tradition, we played spades: Keen and I versus Mom and Dad. Keen and I delivered a crushing defeat, beating Mom and Dad 520 to 161. We celebrated by eating a lot of fudge and gloating. It was great. haha
Today was cleaning and packing day. Keen and I left early with Winky, who slept on the back of my seat with his head on my shoulder for most of the drive home. Tonight my parents and I rented Dream Girls and had a nice bonding night together while Keen went to the Italian Festival with her friends. The movie was pretty good. I can definitely see why Jennifer Hudson won the Oscar...but anyway, I'm beat.
Between the family fun I spent most of my time napping while we were at the beach. I get these waves of exhaustion and sleep for usually around 3 hours at a time. It's very strange. But I suppose if I'm going to have any side effects from this round, I'll take exhaustion over the sore throat, the fever, the hospital, or any of that other junk. Here's hoping things just keep getting better...Tomorrow should be great. We're going to Father's Day mass at St. Joe's and then out to brunch with my Dad's side of the family. I'm excited to see everyone!
Love and hugs and happy Father's Day to all the dads reading this :)
Lauren
Monday, June 11, 2007
beach vacation :)
Hello from Ocean City, NJ!
We got wireless internet for the house this year, so I'll be able to keep up with my blog while I'm down here. The temperature has been a little bit chilly for the past few days, but today is perfect beach weather, so I'm headed out there after I finish this entry.
Physically I'm feeling better, although not 100%. It seems like every medicine I take to correct one thing causes another problem which I need another medicine for. That's frustrating. I hope that aspect of the treatment gets easier. I'm gradually learning how to lessen my symptoms and understanding how my body reacts to different dosage levels, but it is a tedious process of trial and error.
Tomorrow I return to Wilmington for my second round of chemo. This time I'll be getting all 5 drugs in one day, so it will be a long one. Last time the Rituxan alone took about 6 hours to administer, and I was knocked out for most of that time because I got so sick from it. I am pretty nervous about that happening again tomorrow. I doubt that they'll slow the drip since I have to finish the Rituxan and then the 3+ hours of CHOP. But we'll see. I'll let you know how it goes. I am looking forward to getting it over with.
In happier news, our vacation has been wonderful so far. Dad and I arrived early on Saturday and unpacked the car. We ran some errands and got cheese steaks at Voltaco's. It's great to be eating solid, delicious food again after 5 days of hospital meals and at least 3 days of straight liquids once I got home. Mom and Keen arrived later that night with Winky, our new cat. This is his first year at the beach, and so far he seems to be enjoying it.
I also debuted my wig in public. I was nervous that people would know it was a wig immediately, but so far I haven't gotten any weird looks. Sometimes I'm tempted to whip it off just to see if anyone would be really surprised that it isn't my real hair. haha As for my real hair, it's really falling out now. I wake up with my pillow covered. Handfuls come out in the shower. It's very strange. I think I will have Lucy shave whatever is left off once we get back from vacation.
On Sunday we went to mass at Our Lady of Good Counsel, which is always fun. The guy that plays the electric organ seems to think he's the next Yani. We always get a kick out of his new age renditions of songs like "How Great Thou Art." He loves to add in a lot of synthesized timpani drums and really over-dramatizes the music. I have a hard time keeping a straight face.
After mass I passed out for about 4 hours. It's bizarre how exhausted the chemo drugs make me. I couldn't believe how late it was when I woke up. Mom made corn on the cob and hot dogs for dinner and then Dad, Keen and I went to the boardwalk. I bought a cute red dress and we got ice cream and fudge to bring home.
We ran into Mr. and Mrs. Burns, who own the house across the street from us here. They have been close with our family since my grandparents bought this house, and Mr. Burns is on the board of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Mr. Burns was good friends with my grandfather who passed away from Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma in 1999. My grandfather was a great man and Mr. Burns shared some funny memories of their years at the beach with me. It was so nice to talk with them.
Anyway, it's time for me to head over to the beach. Bye for now :)
Love,
Lauren
We got wireless internet for the house this year, so I'll be able to keep up with my blog while I'm down here. The temperature has been a little bit chilly for the past few days, but today is perfect beach weather, so I'm headed out there after I finish this entry.
Physically I'm feeling better, although not 100%. It seems like every medicine I take to correct one thing causes another problem which I need another medicine for. That's frustrating. I hope that aspect of the treatment gets easier. I'm gradually learning how to lessen my symptoms and understanding how my body reacts to different dosage levels, but it is a tedious process of trial and error.
Tomorrow I return to Wilmington for my second round of chemo. This time I'll be getting all 5 drugs in one day, so it will be a long one. Last time the Rituxan alone took about 6 hours to administer, and I was knocked out for most of that time because I got so sick from it. I am pretty nervous about that happening again tomorrow. I doubt that they'll slow the drip since I have to finish the Rituxan and then the 3+ hours of CHOP. But we'll see. I'll let you know how it goes. I am looking forward to getting it over with.
In happier news, our vacation has been wonderful so far. Dad and I arrived early on Saturday and unpacked the car. We ran some errands and got cheese steaks at Voltaco's. It's great to be eating solid, delicious food again after 5 days of hospital meals and at least 3 days of straight liquids once I got home. Mom and Keen arrived later that night with Winky, our new cat. This is his first year at the beach, and so far he seems to be enjoying it.
I also debuted my wig in public. I was nervous that people would know it was a wig immediately, but so far I haven't gotten any weird looks. Sometimes I'm tempted to whip it off just to see if anyone would be really surprised that it isn't my real hair. haha As for my real hair, it's really falling out now. I wake up with my pillow covered. Handfuls come out in the shower. It's very strange. I think I will have Lucy shave whatever is left off once we get back from vacation.
On Sunday we went to mass at Our Lady of Good Counsel, which is always fun. The guy that plays the electric organ seems to think he's the next Yani. We always get a kick out of his new age renditions of songs like "How Great Thou Art." He loves to add in a lot of synthesized timpani drums and really over-dramatizes the music. I have a hard time keeping a straight face.
After mass I passed out for about 4 hours. It's bizarre how exhausted the chemo drugs make me. I couldn't believe how late it was when I woke up. Mom made corn on the cob and hot dogs for dinner and then Dad, Keen and I went to the boardwalk. I bought a cute red dress and we got ice cream and fudge to bring home.
We ran into Mr. and Mrs. Burns, who own the house across the street from us here. They have been close with our family since my grandparents bought this house, and Mr. Burns is on the board of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Mr. Burns was good friends with my grandfather who passed away from Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma in 1999. My grandfather was a great man and Mr. Burns shared some funny memories of their years at the beach with me. It was so nice to talk with them.
Anyway, it's time for me to head over to the beach. Bye for now :)
Love,
Lauren
Saturday, June 9, 2007
signing out for the week
Alright, I lied. I'm not bald. Lucy, my dad's hairdressser, came over and looked at my hair and said there's just too much good thickness still in there for me to shave it yet. I trust her judgment, so I just let her cut it really short. It kind of makes me look like a pixie :) She said that once it really starts to thin out, she'll come shave the rest for me. Until then it will be nice to have hair so I can still get away with going wigless/hatless in the summer heat.
Speaking of summer heat, my family is leaving for our week vacation in Ocean City, NJ today. I am trying to write this entry quickly because my dad is pretty anxious to get going. We have some new furniture arriving for the house, so he wants us to get there before the movers arrive. I am SO looking forward to a week of distance from all of this cancer business. I am still feeling a bit sick, but the symptoms get better each day. So hopefully this week will give me a chance to really get back on track.
Unfortunately, I do have to come home on Tuesday for my second round of chemo at HGCC. This time we're doing it all in one day. I'm a little nervous that my body will go bonkers from having all of the drugs at once, but Dr. G doesn't seem to think it will be a problem. It's good that I won't be missing too much of our vacation, and I'm actually excited to be back on the Prednisone. That stuff gave me a boost of energy which I could really use right about now.
One more exciting piece of news: I got my wig!! After all my talk of trying a new hair color, I ended up sticking with red. Mom and I went to a shop at the New Castle Farmer's Market. The man there was very nice and brought us to a special room in the back of his shop where he keeps his best wigs for people who are cancer patients. He works very closely with the hospital where I am being treated, and they highly recommended that I go to him. I tried on wigs in every color you can imagine, but in the end we all agreed that I look best as a redhead. The only other color I was close to purchasing was a dark brunette with red highlights. But that wig was long, and I really need a shorter one if I'm going to be able to stand wearing it in the summer. So I ended up going with a red one that is just slightly darker than my natural color. It's a shorter cut, but it frames my face nicely. It actually looks a lot like my hair looked before. It's nice to look in the mirror and feel like I'm still looking at the same person. I'm happy with it :)
I got a chance to talk on the phone with a woman from Boothwyn, PA whose son survived lymphoma last night. He has been in remission for 3 years, and he is now 20 years old and a junior at Temple. I will hopefully get to meet them both sometime soon. It's good to know that there's someone else around here who can relate to my situation.
Chiya and Justin stopped by for a brief visit last night since I was feeling ok. We sat and watched tv and chatted and they gave me their approval on the wig and on my new hairdo. It was good to see my best friends. I really needed a little pick-me-up after how rough the past week has been, and they never fail to make me laugh.
Mrs. Mahler and Kathleen also stopped by and brought me a hat and two bandanas. I love them! There's a very pretty cranberry colored bandana for my girly days, a Harley Davidson bandana for when I'm feeling wild and dangerous (Dan will love that one), and a cute floppy hat for the beach. Perfect timing since I'm headed there now.
I hope everyone enjoys the week. If I end up coming back to the house on Tuesday I will try to sneak in an update, assuming I'm not too knocked out from the chemo. I'll be back next Saturday. Farewell until then :)
Lots of love,
Lauren
Speaking of summer heat, my family is leaving for our week vacation in Ocean City, NJ today. I am trying to write this entry quickly because my dad is pretty anxious to get going. We have some new furniture arriving for the house, so he wants us to get there before the movers arrive. I am SO looking forward to a week of distance from all of this cancer business. I am still feeling a bit sick, but the symptoms get better each day. So hopefully this week will give me a chance to really get back on track.
Unfortunately, I do have to come home on Tuesday for my second round of chemo at HGCC. This time we're doing it all in one day. I'm a little nervous that my body will go bonkers from having all of the drugs at once, but Dr. G doesn't seem to think it will be a problem. It's good that I won't be missing too much of our vacation, and I'm actually excited to be back on the Prednisone. That stuff gave me a boost of energy which I could really use right about now.
One more exciting piece of news: I got my wig!! After all my talk of trying a new hair color, I ended up sticking with red. Mom and I went to a shop at the New Castle Farmer's Market. The man there was very nice and brought us to a special room in the back of his shop where he keeps his best wigs for people who are cancer patients. He works very closely with the hospital where I am being treated, and they highly recommended that I go to him. I tried on wigs in every color you can imagine, but in the end we all agreed that I look best as a redhead. The only other color I was close to purchasing was a dark brunette with red highlights. But that wig was long, and I really need a shorter one if I'm going to be able to stand wearing it in the summer. So I ended up going with a red one that is just slightly darker than my natural color. It's a shorter cut, but it frames my face nicely. It actually looks a lot like my hair looked before. It's nice to look in the mirror and feel like I'm still looking at the same person. I'm happy with it :)
I got a chance to talk on the phone with a woman from Boothwyn, PA whose son survived lymphoma last night. He has been in remission for 3 years, and he is now 20 years old and a junior at Temple. I will hopefully get to meet them both sometime soon. It's good to know that there's someone else around here who can relate to my situation.
Chiya and Justin stopped by for a brief visit last night since I was feeling ok. We sat and watched tv and chatted and they gave me their approval on the wig and on my new hairdo. It was good to see my best friends. I really needed a little pick-me-up after how rough the past week has been, and they never fail to make me laugh.
Mrs. Mahler and Kathleen also stopped by and brought me a hat and two bandanas. I love them! There's a very pretty cranberry colored bandana for my girly days, a Harley Davidson bandana for when I'm feeling wild and dangerous (Dan will love that one), and a cute floppy hat for the beach. Perfect timing since I'm headed there now.
I hope everyone enjoys the week. If I end up coming back to the house on Tuesday I will try to sneak in an update, assuming I'm not too knocked out from the chemo. I'll be back next Saturday. Farewell until then :)
Lots of love,
Lauren
Friday, June 8, 2007
newsflash!
As of tomorrow night, I will be bald. My dad's hairdresser, Lucy, who is an old family friend and a cancer surviver herself is coming over after work to shave my head for me. I have asked my parents to document this event with their cameras, so I will hopefully have pictures to post on here tomorrow. Until then, I am going to probably be spending the next 24 hours in bed. I'm still not feeling great, but each day gets better. I am actually looking forward to shaving off my hair because it's getting to the point where I'm too tired and sick to really keep up with it. I am also starting to notice small clumps coming out when I run my fingers through it. So it's time...
I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck!
I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
finally home
Hello again!
I just wanted to let everyone know that I am FINALLY home from the hospital. YAY!! Keen did a good job of informing you of what was going on. She's a sweety :) Here's the scoop on what happened during my stay...
As Keen mentioned, my first night there was somewhat dramatic. I arrived at midnight with a fever of 101 (not too bad, but bad enough) and was taken to my room to be examined. The doctor on call looked me over and the nurses drew some blood samples and inserted my IV.
Dad insisted on spending the night, but they asked him to go out to the lobby as a courtesy to my roommate: a woman who I would estimate was around 60 and seemed very unfriendly. She was snoring loudly with her TV on when I arrived, so I asked the nurse to switch the TV off. To my disappointment, the woman awoke a few minutes later, turned the TV back on, and proceded to chat very loudly with the nurse, apparently unaware (or unconcerned) that I was trying to get some sleep on the other side of the curtain. When I got up to use the bathroom, I attempted to make eye contact with her and wave hello, but she refused to look at me. I returned to bed and eventually dozed off.
I woke maybe an hour later to the sounds of my roommate throwing a tantrum because the nurses needed to move her to another room. "I WAS HERE FIRST!!! SHE SHOULD LEAVE!! I'M GOING TO ASK TO TRANSFER TO ANOTHER HOSPITAL!!! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" Clearly it didn't matter to her that I was right there in the room :( Thankfully she was taken away, and I never heard from her again during my stay at Christiana. I learned that I had to be isolated because my blood tests showed I was neutropenic: my white blood cell count was too low for me to fight any infection or illness.
That same night, another patient in a room nearby started yelling for help and trying to escape and had to be restrained by security. Apparently many of the patients in the Oncology Ward suffer from confusion because they have tumors affecting their brains. After all of this, I was actually thankful that I was too sick to have a roommate...
The next few days ran together. I slept as much as possible, but the nurses were constantly coming in and out to check my vitals, bring me medications, or change the drugs in my IV. I was hooked up to the IV from my arrival late Saturday night until my departure this after noon, and received a constant flow of saline and antibiotics. These gradually brought my white blood cell count back up to the safe zone. The IV bag was my little buddy, and had to travel with me anytime I got up, so I spent most of my time in bed.
I watched a lot of TV, ate quite a bit (when I felt well enough, at least), and enjoyed visits from Dan, my family, Aunt Kara, Uncle John, Aunt Laura, and Uncle Gary. I didn't have much down time between my visitors and the constant check-ups from my doctors and nurses, but I was glad to not be bored.
Dan also spent the night, as Keen said in her entry, and that was really nice. The nurses sort of looked the other way on the visitor policy, which doesn't allow sleepovers, and certainly doesn't allow guests who wish to spend the night to stay in the room with the patients. They actually let Dan sleep in my room with me! That was great. Neither of us slept much, of course, because I was running a fever the whole day/night and had to be checked hourly. Dan helped me carry my IV back and forth to the bathroom and waited on my every need.
At first I was a bit uncomfortable with Dan seeing me such a mess. I hadn't showered, I was wearing a hideous hospital "gown" (more like a bedsheet tied to me with strings), my hair was a rat's nest, my eyes had huge dark circles, and I have a lovely ulcer on my lip because my mouth is irritated by virtually everything I eat. But Dan must have told me "you're beautiful" 20 times. He really made me feel like a million bucks, emotionally, even though I felt physically awful. It was really a comfort to me to have him there during what was probably the roughest night of my hospital stay.
Dan and I had a hard time saying goodbye on Tuesday when he visited me one last time before he left for his backpacking trip to Europe. He wrote me a beautiful letter and made me a CD of songs to listen to while he is gone. They're all songs about being apart but still loving each other. I really am going to miss him this month, but he already called me from London. I know this month will test us both in many ways, but I am not at all worried about our relationship surviving. I insisted that he go on this trip, despite his worries about leaving me while I'm sick. He will finally get to go on the trip he's been dreaming of since the day I met him, and I will get the rest and time to myself that I need right now. We've been through a lot in 6 years, and I know we will both only be stronger when he gets back in July. This month will be a walk in the park compared to the 4 years we spent apart while we were at college.
Anyway, enough mushy stuff...
On Tuesday morning I received some very exciting news. First, here is some background info: on Sunday I was taken out of my room (the 1 and only time I left the room during my stay at the hospital!) for chest x-rays. Afterward I asked the doctor if he would be able to tell from the x-rays if there had been any shrinking in my tumor. He explained that this was unlikely. Regular chest x-rays are not detailed enough to detect subtle changes, and since it had only been a week and a half since my 1st round of chemo, he said there would probably be little, if any, shrinking. He compared my cancer to a freight train, and said that it is more likely that the tumor would have grown a bit more before the drugs had enough time to slow it down.
Now for the good part...When the doctor woke me for my Wednesday morning physical, he told me that he hadn't received my white blood cell counts for the day, but that he HAD looked at my chest x-rays. I was half awake at the time, so what he told me next took a few minutes to really resonate, but I'm going to make it very bold here because it makes me so happy....
"We can already see shrinking in your lymphnodes"
Can you believe it?!?!?! My tumor is ALREADY shrinking!!! This is a true testament to the power of prayer and positive reinforcement. I am SO blessed. SO BLESSED!! You can't imagine how much happy crying I did that day. I called my parents and told them, and they were more overjoyed than I have ever heard them sound in my life. It was just amazing. I've known all along that I am going to be ok, but to hear someone confirm it and tell me that I'm already on the road to recovery was truly astounding.
HOORAY!!!!
Thank you all for pulling for me. Everything you've been doing is working!! Keep the prayers coming. Shrinking is the first step, but the ultimate goal is to be cured.
On that high note, I am going to end this update. There's more I can say about my hospital stay, but I am not feeling too great and really need to get more rest. The doctor wants me to really take it easy for the next week or so, so unfortunately I can't talk on the phone or have visitors. He says this is very important. I really need to just sleep and get healthy. My body is pretty banged up from the lack of white blood cells. I am sore and achey all over. It even hurts to eat :( This is the first time since my treatment began that I truly want to just curl up in my bed and be alone for a few days. I will let everyone know when I am feeling well again. I have been prescribed tons of new medicines that should have me back on my feet soon.
Until then, I love you all. I am so glad to be home!
<3 Lauren
I just wanted to let everyone know that I am FINALLY home from the hospital. YAY!! Keen did a good job of informing you of what was going on. She's a sweety :) Here's the scoop on what happened during my stay...
As Keen mentioned, my first night there was somewhat dramatic. I arrived at midnight with a fever of 101 (not too bad, but bad enough) and was taken to my room to be examined. The doctor on call looked me over and the nurses drew some blood samples and inserted my IV.
Dad insisted on spending the night, but they asked him to go out to the lobby as a courtesy to my roommate: a woman who I would estimate was around 60 and seemed very unfriendly. She was snoring loudly with her TV on when I arrived, so I asked the nurse to switch the TV off. To my disappointment, the woman awoke a few minutes later, turned the TV back on, and proceded to chat very loudly with the nurse, apparently unaware (or unconcerned) that I was trying to get some sleep on the other side of the curtain. When I got up to use the bathroom, I attempted to make eye contact with her and wave hello, but she refused to look at me. I returned to bed and eventually dozed off.
I woke maybe an hour later to the sounds of my roommate throwing a tantrum because the nurses needed to move her to another room. "I WAS HERE FIRST!!! SHE SHOULD LEAVE!! I'M GOING TO ASK TO TRANSFER TO ANOTHER HOSPITAL!!! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" Clearly it didn't matter to her that I was right there in the room :( Thankfully she was taken away, and I never heard from her again during my stay at Christiana. I learned that I had to be isolated because my blood tests showed I was neutropenic: my white blood cell count was too low for me to fight any infection or illness.
That same night, another patient in a room nearby started yelling for help and trying to escape and had to be restrained by security. Apparently many of the patients in the Oncology Ward suffer from confusion because they have tumors affecting their brains. After all of this, I was actually thankful that I was too sick to have a roommate...
The next few days ran together. I slept as much as possible, but the nurses were constantly coming in and out to check my vitals, bring me medications, or change the drugs in my IV. I was hooked up to the IV from my arrival late Saturday night until my departure this after noon, and received a constant flow of saline and antibiotics. These gradually brought my white blood cell count back up to the safe zone. The IV bag was my little buddy, and had to travel with me anytime I got up, so I spent most of my time in bed.
I watched a lot of TV, ate quite a bit (when I felt well enough, at least), and enjoyed visits from Dan, my family, Aunt Kara, Uncle John, Aunt Laura, and Uncle Gary. I didn't have much down time between my visitors and the constant check-ups from my doctors and nurses, but I was glad to not be bored.
Dan also spent the night, as Keen said in her entry, and that was really nice. The nurses sort of looked the other way on the visitor policy, which doesn't allow sleepovers, and certainly doesn't allow guests who wish to spend the night to stay in the room with the patients. They actually let Dan sleep in my room with me! That was great. Neither of us slept much, of course, because I was running a fever the whole day/night and had to be checked hourly. Dan helped me carry my IV back and forth to the bathroom and waited on my every need.
At first I was a bit uncomfortable with Dan seeing me such a mess. I hadn't showered, I was wearing a hideous hospital "gown" (more like a bedsheet tied to me with strings), my hair was a rat's nest, my eyes had huge dark circles, and I have a lovely ulcer on my lip because my mouth is irritated by virtually everything I eat. But Dan must have told me "you're beautiful" 20 times. He really made me feel like a million bucks, emotionally, even though I felt physically awful. It was really a comfort to me to have him there during what was probably the roughest night of my hospital stay.
Dan and I had a hard time saying goodbye on Tuesday when he visited me one last time before he left for his backpacking trip to Europe. He wrote me a beautiful letter and made me a CD of songs to listen to while he is gone. They're all songs about being apart but still loving each other. I really am going to miss him this month, but he already called me from London. I know this month will test us both in many ways, but I am not at all worried about our relationship surviving. I insisted that he go on this trip, despite his worries about leaving me while I'm sick. He will finally get to go on the trip he's been dreaming of since the day I met him, and I will get the rest and time to myself that I need right now. We've been through a lot in 6 years, and I know we will both only be stronger when he gets back in July. This month will be a walk in the park compared to the 4 years we spent apart while we were at college.
Anyway, enough mushy stuff...
On Tuesday morning I received some very exciting news. First, here is some background info: on Sunday I was taken out of my room (the 1 and only time I left the room during my stay at the hospital!) for chest x-rays. Afterward I asked the doctor if he would be able to tell from the x-rays if there had been any shrinking in my tumor. He explained that this was unlikely. Regular chest x-rays are not detailed enough to detect subtle changes, and since it had only been a week and a half since my 1st round of chemo, he said there would probably be little, if any, shrinking. He compared my cancer to a freight train, and said that it is more likely that the tumor would have grown a bit more before the drugs had enough time to slow it down.
Now for the good part...When the doctor woke me for my Wednesday morning physical, he told me that he hadn't received my white blood cell counts for the day, but that he HAD looked at my chest x-rays. I was half awake at the time, so what he told me next took a few minutes to really resonate, but I'm going to make it very bold here because it makes me so happy....
"We can already see shrinking in your lymphnodes"
Can you believe it?!?!?! My tumor is ALREADY shrinking!!! This is a true testament to the power of prayer and positive reinforcement. I am SO blessed. SO BLESSED!! You can't imagine how much happy crying I did that day. I called my parents and told them, and they were more overjoyed than I have ever heard them sound in my life. It was just amazing. I've known all along that I am going to be ok, but to hear someone confirm it and tell me that I'm already on the road to recovery was truly astounding.
HOORAY!!!!
Thank you all for pulling for me. Everything you've been doing is working!! Keep the prayers coming. Shrinking is the first step, but the ultimate goal is to be cured.
On that high note, I am going to end this update. There's more I can say about my hospital stay, but I am not feeling too great and really need to get more rest. The doctor wants me to really take it easy for the next week or so, so unfortunately I can't talk on the phone or have visitors. He says this is very important. I really need to just sleep and get healthy. My body is pretty banged up from the lack of white blood cells. I am sore and achey all over. It even hurts to eat :( This is the first time since my treatment began that I truly want to just curl up in my bed and be alone for a few days. I will let everyone know when I am feeling well again. I have been prescribed tons of new medicines that should have me back on my feet soon.
Until then, I love you all. I am so glad to be home!
<3 Lauren
Monday, June 4, 2007
a brief update from Keen
Hi everyone :)
It's Keen (Lauren's sister). Lauren asked that I write tonight's update on her behalf.
Over the weekend, Lauren developed persistent cold-like symptoms including a fever. When things weren't getting better, my parents called her doctor who eventually asked that Lauren be brought to the hospital for a few days. So, she is currently a temporary resident of the oncology ward at the Christiana Hospital.
Once there, Lauren's doctors determined that her white blood cell count was extremely low (around 400 when it should be 3500), making it difficult for her to combat disease. They chose to keep her in the hospital for a few days while she recovers so she will be safe from excessive amounts of dangerous bacteria. In fact, the doctors were so concerned about the threat of spreading bacteria, that they chose to move Lauren's roommate to a new location, much to her roommate's dismay (apparently she threw a sizable fit).
While I haven't had the opportunity to visit Lauren yet, it sounds as if her stay at the hospital has been pretty smooth, all things considered. My dad stayed with her overnight Saturday to Sunday. Then today, my mom went to stay with her for a while. Her room is rather arctic, but Lauren has not had much of a problem with the climate yet. Today, they gave her cold soup for dinner by mistake, and cake when she requested pudding. Mistakes of this grandeur would not have been tolerated back in the day when she played the wealthy woman and I played her servant "Phlegm," but Lauren was very understanding of the hospital staff. Dan went to stay the night with her tonight. We're hopeful that she'll be healthy and back at home with us by Tuesday.
As always, the thoughts and prayers of Lauren's family, friends, relatives, and extended community are greatly appreciated. The feedback Lauren receives on this journal means the world to her, and to our family. She is always encouraged by the thoughts of her loved ones and their interest in her progress. The undying support and love is only making her that much stronger. A million thank yous for your endless compassion.
God bless and all my love,
Keen :)
xoxo
It's Keen (Lauren's sister). Lauren asked that I write tonight's update on her behalf.
Over the weekend, Lauren developed persistent cold-like symptoms including a fever. When things weren't getting better, my parents called her doctor who eventually asked that Lauren be brought to the hospital for a few days. So, she is currently a temporary resident of the oncology ward at the Christiana Hospital.
Once there, Lauren's doctors determined that her white blood cell count was extremely low (around 400 when it should be 3500), making it difficult for her to combat disease. They chose to keep her in the hospital for a few days while she recovers so she will be safe from excessive amounts of dangerous bacteria. In fact, the doctors were so concerned about the threat of spreading bacteria, that they chose to move Lauren's roommate to a new location, much to her roommate's dismay (apparently she threw a sizable fit).
While I haven't had the opportunity to visit Lauren yet, it sounds as if her stay at the hospital has been pretty smooth, all things considered. My dad stayed with her overnight Saturday to Sunday. Then today, my mom went to stay with her for a while. Her room is rather arctic, but Lauren has not had much of a problem with the climate yet. Today, they gave her cold soup for dinner by mistake, and cake when she requested pudding. Mistakes of this grandeur would not have been tolerated back in the day when she played the wealthy woman and I played her servant "Phlegm," but Lauren was very understanding of the hospital staff. Dan went to stay the night with her tonight. We're hopeful that she'll be healthy and back at home with us by Tuesday.
As always, the thoughts and prayers of Lauren's family, friends, relatives, and extended community are greatly appreciated. The feedback Lauren receives on this journal means the world to her, and to our family. She is always encouraged by the thoughts of her loved ones and their interest in her progress. The undying support and love is only making her that much stronger. A million thank yous for your endless compassion.
God bless and all my love,
Keen :)
xoxo
Friday, June 1, 2007
week 2
Hi all!
It's been a few days since my last post and I have much to share! Wednesday I drove up to King of Prussia mall with Keen for a much-needed day of shopping and sister time. My throat was feeling better and the dizziness was gone, but I did feel tired and had to take frequent breaks. Keen was very patient and let me rest whenever I needed to. It was a fun day overall :) I came home that night and collapsed in bed shortly after dinner.
While Keen and I were on our way to the mall, I got a very exciting phone call. Jeff and Christine Johnson (who is my Aunt Kelly's sister) heard about my journal and offered me the chance to become involved in an amazing not-for-profit web project that they are building. God must have a hand in this, because it is just too perfect to be a coincidence. They are starting a web 2.0 community for people dealing with serious illness called iCompassion.org, Inc.™, and as of that phone call, I am now one of its founding members!
Web 2.0 is the concept of using the internet as a means for people to interact and create their own experience rather than just read information. This site will allow users to have personal blogs (like this one), post on discussion forums, connect with other patients and doctors, post personal profiles, research their illness and treatment options, and even fund raise if they wish. It is exactly what I was looking for when I was first diagnosed, but nothing like it exists yet. My role as a founder is to offer creative input and serve as the first user. Today the other founders and I had our first teleconference to discuss what features the site needs and get everyone up to speed on the technology being used. I am learning so much already! The actual site will hopefully be up in August, so my blog will eventually be moving. I will keep you all posted on the progress of this amazing project :)
Thursday was a day of fun surprises. Elise and Amy Bobbitt came over with flowers and a box of home-baked brownies and oatmeal raisin cookies. Delicious! I had to sample some immediately. These chemo drugs seem to have given me the appetite of a horse. Amy also took me out to lunch at Applebee's. It was so great to see her. We've been friends since Amy was born (2 years after me) when our families lived across the street from one another in Deerhurst. I am hoping to go visit her in a few weeks at the beach where she is working for the summer.
When I arrived home from lunch, two more surprises were waiting on the front porch. One was a beautiful flower arrangement from the Bellomo family. They have just been showering me with get-well wishes :) I also received an adorable "friendship bag" from Lindsay which included...
An Umbrella for singing in life's showers (a cocktail umbrella)
A Lifesaver because we all need a little help now and then (candy!)
A Cotton ball to cushion the fall when the road gets rough
Elastic to help you stretch to your limits (a rubber band)
A Kiss to make it all better (a Hershey kiss, of course)
String to help you hold it all together
A Candle to light your way (a birthday candle)
A spare Marble in case you lose yours
A Happy Face because smiles are contagious
A Quarter to call your friend
And an Eraser for a fresh start everyday!
How cute! I am looking forward to heading down to the Bellomo's beautiful home on the water in Annapolis at the end of June for Lindsay's graduation party so I can reunite with her and my 3 other former-roommates from Loyola. I miss those girls so much.
As if that weren't enough to spoil me for one day, a giant basket of herbal bath supplies arrived from Aunt Kelly and Uncle Dan. Oh my goodness....it smells heavenly! It has two different kinds of lotion, shampoo, conditioner, body scrub, foot scrub, bath salts, a spray for relieving tension and headaches, massage oil, a neck pillow, back pillow, and an eye pillow. You name it, and this basket has it. I was so excited! It will be fun to try out all of these new things, especially on the days when I really need to unwind and feel girly. I am actually planning on taking a nice relaxing bath with my goodies as soon as I finish this entry. Maybe I'll soak in the tub, eat some of my cookies, and prop up the flowers on the sink so I can enjoy them too. haha
I really am feeling very spoiled by all of this. More cards arrive in the mail each day. More friends call to see how I'm doing. Everyone has just been so incredibly generous and supportive! With so many people taking care of me, I know the challenges of the next 6 months will be much easier to handle.
I think it's bath time for me, so I'm signing out for today. I have to run over to the cancer center to pick up some forms and then head back here to get dressed up. Tonight I am chaperoning an 8th grade dance with Dan. His little sister Kathleen is graduating, and this dance is her big end-of-year semi-formal. I'm sure it will be a flashback to my own 8th grade dance memories.
Thank you all for the comments you leave me. I check this journal several times a day, and even sometimes during the night when I can't sleep. It really makes me happy every time I get a new post. I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Love and hugs,
Lauren
It's been a few days since my last post and I have much to share! Wednesday I drove up to King of Prussia mall with Keen for a much-needed day of shopping and sister time. My throat was feeling better and the dizziness was gone, but I did feel tired and had to take frequent breaks. Keen was very patient and let me rest whenever I needed to. It was a fun day overall :) I came home that night and collapsed in bed shortly after dinner.
While Keen and I were on our way to the mall, I got a very exciting phone call. Jeff and Christine Johnson (who is my Aunt Kelly's sister) heard about my journal and offered me the chance to become involved in an amazing not-for-profit web project that they are building. God must have a hand in this, because it is just too perfect to be a coincidence. They are starting a web 2.0 community for people dealing with serious illness called iCompassion.org, Inc.™, and as of that phone call, I am now one of its founding members!
Web 2.0 is the concept of using the internet as a means for people to interact and create their own experience rather than just read information. This site will allow users to have personal blogs (like this one), post on discussion forums, connect with other patients and doctors, post personal profiles, research their illness and treatment options, and even fund raise if they wish. It is exactly what I was looking for when I was first diagnosed, but nothing like it exists yet. My role as a founder is to offer creative input and serve as the first user. Today the other founders and I had our first teleconference to discuss what features the site needs and get everyone up to speed on the technology being used. I am learning so much already! The actual site will hopefully be up in August, so my blog will eventually be moving. I will keep you all posted on the progress of this amazing project :)
Thursday was a day of fun surprises. Elise and Amy Bobbitt came over with flowers and a box of home-baked brownies and oatmeal raisin cookies. Delicious! I had to sample some immediately. These chemo drugs seem to have given me the appetite of a horse. Amy also took me out to lunch at Applebee's. It was so great to see her. We've been friends since Amy was born (2 years after me) when our families lived across the street from one another in Deerhurst. I am hoping to go visit her in a few weeks at the beach where she is working for the summer.
When I arrived home from lunch, two more surprises were waiting on the front porch. One was a beautiful flower arrangement from the Bellomo family. They have just been showering me with get-well wishes :) I also received an adorable "friendship bag" from Lindsay which included...
An Umbrella for singing in life's showers (a cocktail umbrella)
A Lifesaver because we all need a little help now and then (candy!)
A Cotton ball to cushion the fall when the road gets rough
Elastic to help you stretch to your limits (a rubber band)
A Kiss to make it all better (a Hershey kiss, of course)
String to help you hold it all together
A Candle to light your way (a birthday candle)
A spare Marble in case you lose yours
A Happy Face because smiles are contagious
A Quarter to call your friend
And an Eraser for a fresh start everyday!
How cute! I am looking forward to heading down to the Bellomo's beautiful home on the water in Annapolis at the end of June for Lindsay's graduation party so I can reunite with her and my 3 other former-roommates from Loyola. I miss those girls so much.
As if that weren't enough to spoil me for one day, a giant basket of herbal bath supplies arrived from Aunt Kelly and Uncle Dan. Oh my goodness....it smells heavenly! It has two different kinds of lotion, shampoo, conditioner, body scrub, foot scrub, bath salts, a spray for relieving tension and headaches, massage oil, a neck pillow, back pillow, and an eye pillow. You name it, and this basket has it. I was so excited! It will be fun to try out all of these new things, especially on the days when I really need to unwind and feel girly. I am actually planning on taking a nice relaxing bath with my goodies as soon as I finish this entry. Maybe I'll soak in the tub, eat some of my cookies, and prop up the flowers on the sink so I can enjoy them too. haha
I really am feeling very spoiled by all of this. More cards arrive in the mail each day. More friends call to see how I'm doing. Everyone has just been so incredibly generous and supportive! With so many people taking care of me, I know the challenges of the next 6 months will be much easier to handle.
I think it's bath time for me, so I'm signing out for today. I have to run over to the cancer center to pick up some forms and then head back here to get dressed up. Tonight I am chaperoning an 8th grade dance with Dan. His little sister Kathleen is graduating, and this dance is her big end-of-year semi-formal. I'm sure it will be a flashback to my own 8th grade dance memories.
Thank you all for the comments you leave me. I check this journal several times a day, and even sometimes during the night when I can't sleep. It really makes me happy every time I get a new post. I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Love and hugs,
Lauren
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
checking in
Hello there :)
Well, the chemo finally seems to have caught up with me. I have been feeling a little under the weather for the past two days with a very sore throat, aching in my joints, and overall exhaustion. The doctors warned me that days 7-10 following treatment would be the hardest because my white blood cell count would reach its lowest point, and they seem to be right. Today was day 7 and I'm definitely feeling it. The sore throat got somewhat better today though, so I'm pretty sure it's just this cold working its way out of my system. Hopefully I won't deal with that after future chemo cycles. I have been spending a lot of time in bed, which is discouraging. It's nice out and I really wish I felt up to going places.
I did manage to tag along with my dad and Keen for their annual trip to see Lauren Hart and Dar Williams at the Concert Under the Stars in King of Prussia, PA on Sunday. We got Charcoal Pit on the way there and brought along a cooler full of drinks and some lawn chairs. It was really an amazing night, despite the fact that thunderstorms cut the concert short. What made it all worthwhile for me was getting to meet Lauren Hart. For those of you who aren't familiar with her, she is a singer/songwriter and "The Voice" of the Philadelphia Flyers' hockey games. Needless to say I was extremely excited to see her perform since I am a huge Flyers fan; however, I was even more interested to meet her because she is a survivor of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma!
After her set, my dad, Keen and I walked up to the table where she was autographing CD's. I wanted a copy of her latest CD and was curious to see if she had any advice for me as I begin my treatment for NHL. When I told her about my recent diagnosis, she immediately stood and hugged me. It felt so good to talk to someone who has been there! I can't even begin to tell you...She had such great advice for me, and even gave me her personal e-mail address so that I can keep in touch with her. Lauren was diagnosed in stage III like I am, and has been in remission for 5 years after 6 months of chemo. Perhaps the most reassuring thing she told me was that if I'm feeling good now, that means I'll most likely continue to feel good throughout my chemo treatment. She told me to focus on caring for my emotional health, because that will be the most important battle. It means so much to me to have her encouragement....what an incredible experience.
Having ended the weekend on that amazing note, I had a pretty low key Memorial Day. I spent the morning attempting to medicate my throat, which was really bugging me, and then went to Dan's house later to watch game one of the Stanley Cup finals. I enjoyed sitting and relaxing with Dan and his parents. They really are a second family to me.
Today was a pretty sickly day. I spent most of it in my bed or on the couch. I felt sort of dizzy, and I can definitely tell that the steroids are wearing off because I can hear the wheezing in my chest again from where my lung is partially collapsed. Hopefully the drugs will get to work shrinking this tumor so I can finally breathe normally after all these months.
The women from Dr. A's office have really been a huge support system for our family, and they came through yet again today. They collected money and got us a gift certificate to the Macaroni Grill (one of my favorite restaurants!), and sent me a beautiful carved wooden Angel of Healing which I placed beside my bed. We ordered takeout from Macaroni Grill for dinner, which really cheered me up. I know it has been a huge relief for my mom to not have to worry about cooking dinner. I'm glad she has such a caring group of friends at work.
Oh, I suppose I should also fill you all in on some news that I received today. I have been waiting to hear the results of my PET scan and bone marrow biopsy because my oncologist was on vacation for a few days. The PET scan is what took pictures of my whole body for about an hour to see if the cancer had spread anywhere besides the tumor in my chest. The biopsy was meant to determine if the cancer had spread to my bone marrow, which would elevate me to a stage 4 (the most advanced stage) of NHL. If the cancer spreads to any vital organs or bone marrow, they consider it stage 4. Thankfully, I got a call today telling me that my bones are cancer free! HOORAY!! The PET scan also showed that the cancer has not spread anywhere besides the original tumor, which is also a huge relief. I was SO happy to get this news!!
Anyway, I really need to get to bed. I'm still pretty achy and very tired. Dan came over tonight and kept me company while I drifted in and out of sleep. He takes good care of me :) I promised him I would get some rest, so I'm going to go do that. I will update again soon and let you know if I'm feeling any better.
Lots of love,
Lauren
Well, the chemo finally seems to have caught up with me. I have been feeling a little under the weather for the past two days with a very sore throat, aching in my joints, and overall exhaustion. The doctors warned me that days 7-10 following treatment would be the hardest because my white blood cell count would reach its lowest point, and they seem to be right. Today was day 7 and I'm definitely feeling it. The sore throat got somewhat better today though, so I'm pretty sure it's just this cold working its way out of my system. Hopefully I won't deal with that after future chemo cycles. I have been spending a lot of time in bed, which is discouraging. It's nice out and I really wish I felt up to going places.
I did manage to tag along with my dad and Keen for their annual trip to see Lauren Hart and Dar Williams at the Concert Under the Stars in King of Prussia, PA on Sunday. We got Charcoal Pit on the way there and brought along a cooler full of drinks and some lawn chairs. It was really an amazing night, despite the fact that thunderstorms cut the concert short. What made it all worthwhile for me was getting to meet Lauren Hart. For those of you who aren't familiar with her, she is a singer/songwriter and "The Voice" of the Philadelphia Flyers' hockey games. Needless to say I was extremely excited to see her perform since I am a huge Flyers fan; however, I was even more interested to meet her because she is a survivor of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma!
After her set, my dad, Keen and I walked up to the table where she was autographing CD's. I wanted a copy of her latest CD and was curious to see if she had any advice for me as I begin my treatment for NHL. When I told her about my recent diagnosis, she immediately stood and hugged me. It felt so good to talk to someone who has been there! I can't even begin to tell you...She had such great advice for me, and even gave me her personal e-mail address so that I can keep in touch with her. Lauren was diagnosed in stage III like I am, and has been in remission for 5 years after 6 months of chemo. Perhaps the most reassuring thing she told me was that if I'm feeling good now, that means I'll most likely continue to feel good throughout my chemo treatment. She told me to focus on caring for my emotional health, because that will be the most important battle. It means so much to me to have her encouragement....what an incredible experience.
Having ended the weekend on that amazing note, I had a pretty low key Memorial Day. I spent the morning attempting to medicate my throat, which was really bugging me, and then went to Dan's house later to watch game one of the Stanley Cup finals. I enjoyed sitting and relaxing with Dan and his parents. They really are a second family to me.
Today was a pretty sickly day. I spent most of it in my bed or on the couch. I felt sort of dizzy, and I can definitely tell that the steroids are wearing off because I can hear the wheezing in my chest again from where my lung is partially collapsed. Hopefully the drugs will get to work shrinking this tumor so I can finally breathe normally after all these months.
The women from Dr. A's office have really been a huge support system for our family, and they came through yet again today. They collected money and got us a gift certificate to the Macaroni Grill (one of my favorite restaurants!), and sent me a beautiful carved wooden Angel of Healing which I placed beside my bed. We ordered takeout from Macaroni Grill for dinner, which really cheered me up. I know it has been a huge relief for my mom to not have to worry about cooking dinner. I'm glad she has such a caring group of friends at work.
Oh, I suppose I should also fill you all in on some news that I received today. I have been waiting to hear the results of my PET scan and bone marrow biopsy because my oncologist was on vacation for a few days. The PET scan is what took pictures of my whole body for about an hour to see if the cancer had spread anywhere besides the tumor in my chest. The biopsy was meant to determine if the cancer had spread to my bone marrow, which would elevate me to a stage 4 (the most advanced stage) of NHL. If the cancer spreads to any vital organs or bone marrow, they consider it stage 4. Thankfully, I got a call today telling me that my bones are cancer free! HOORAY!! The PET scan also showed that the cancer has not spread anywhere besides the original tumor, which is also a huge relief. I was SO happy to get this news!!
Anyway, I really need to get to bed. I'm still pretty achy and very tired. Dan came over tonight and kept me company while I drifted in and out of sleep. He takes good care of me :) I promised him I would get some rest, so I'm going to go do that. I will update again soon and let you know if I'm feeling any better.
Lots of love,
Lauren
Sunday, May 27, 2007
weekend update
Hello all :)
Well, my trip to the beach was lovely. My parents and I drove to Ocean City early yesterday morning (I slept most of the way there) and spent the day cleaning up the house with Aunt Pat and Uncle Will. It was SO nice to be back at the shore! It makes me so happy just being in that house. So many memories have been made there. Even though we were down there to get work done, it was still very soothing for me to just be by the ocean for the day.
I was feeling pretty good physically yesterday, so I set to work cleaning the venetian blinds. They had collected quite a bit of dust from the winter months, so I soaked each one in the tub, scrubbed them, and dried them. I was very proud of how they turned out, although it took me basically the entire day to get them all done. I need to learn to be a little less OCD with cleaning so I can accomplish things faster.
Aside from the cleaning, I got to enjoy some of my favorite Ocean City eats yesterday. Uncle Will picked up lunch for all of us at Kessel's Corner. I got a cheesesteak and fries, which were heavenly. I also made a trip over to Dot's Bakery and picked up some of their cream-filled donuts for everyone. As if that weren't enough unhealthy food for one day, we stopped at Creamland for ice cream on the drive home. It was truly a day of gluttony!
Once we arrived home, I got cleaned up and headed down to Newark with Dan to go dancing with some of our friends. The University of Delaware had their commencement ceremonies yesterday, so Main Street was packed with people celebrating. About 10 of us met up at Klondike Kate's bar and restaurant for their "80's Night" dance party. I'm not allowed to drink, of course, but most of you know I'm not much of a drinker anyway. We all had a great time enjoying the guilty pleasure music of the 80's: tons of Cyndi Lauper, Whitney Houston, Bon Jovi, Talking Heads, etc. I danced for most of the night, stopping for only a few breaks. Hopefully I worked off some of that fatty food from the beach! I was happy to see that I didn't feel worn down despite the busy day that I had. I hope I can continue to maintain a fairly active lifestyle like this in the coming months.
After a fantastic night with my friends, I came home and collapsed. I slept in rather late this morning, but I'm hoping to get a lot of cleaning done with what remains of the day. I still have quite a bit of unpacking to do with all that I brought home from college, so hopefully I can make a dent in that.
As for my post-chemo status, I've had a progressively worsening sore throat for the past few days that finally got too painful for me to ignore, so I called the oncology office this morning to see what I should do for it. The chemo drugs make my body produce less saliva, so I'm having a hard time swallowing things and I feel a lot of discomfort, especially when I first wake up. The fact that I'm also getting over a cold is probably complicating things as well. Dr. Biggs, who was on call, advised me to take my Tylenol/Codeine pills that I was prescribed for pain. They seem to have helped, thank goodness. Aside from that I am feeling great. With each good day that passes, I am more certain that everything is going to be just fine.
To Aunt Anna and Uncle Len: I would love to donate my red hair to Locks of Love so that it could be made into a wig for someone else, but unfortunately I had it cut to ear-length (the shortest I've ever gone!) just before I found out about the lymphoma. I suppose that's a blessing in disguise though. I'm getting used to having really short hair, so maybe that will ease the transition to having no hair. haha. In the past I have never grown my hair long enough to cut the 6 inches required for hair donation, but this experience has definitely made me want to do something like that in the future. A great suggestion :)
On that note, I definitely want to try to find some non-profit/community service type work to get involved with this summer. Perhaps the most important thing I learned during my years at Loyola is how much that kind of service benefits not only those that I'm serving, but me as well. It just feels so good to make even a small difference, and I have learned so much from seeing how others are able to overcome life's challenges. That has been something that has made this entire cancer experience much easier for me to face.
I keep thinking about the women I met during spring break outreach when I lived at My Sister's Place for the week. They slept out on the street each night without guarantee of food, shelter, or safety, and yet they greeted me with warm smiles and positive attitudes every morning. They really taught me a lot about facing things one day at a time and being thankful for each moment of life. Though they have few material possessions, they have much in terms of what is truly valuable: strong faith and true friends that see them through their daily struggles. They trust that God has a plan for them. Having seen this, I am doing my best to trust in God's plan for me as well.
I want to try to write individual responses to everyone who has left me messages on this journal, so watch for those in the coming entries. One very special thank you must go to my cousins Evan, Christian, and Molly for the wonderful cards that you made for me. They were the first thing that I received in the mail after my diagnosis, and I cannot tell you how much they meant to me. Evan's poem was absolutely beautiful. I want to share it with everyone on here because I love it so much. I hope you don't mind, Ev. It says "Roses are red, violets are blue, you remind me of a beautiful butterfly flying up so high in the sky." What a sweetheart. I look at those cards every day and smile :) You are the best cousins a girl could ask for!
I suppose I should get cracking on my cleaning before this medicine makes me too groggy. Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who is supporting me. I just can't say it enough. I love you all so much. Thank you for being with me on this journey.
-Lauren
Well, my trip to the beach was lovely. My parents and I drove to Ocean City early yesterday morning (I slept most of the way there) and spent the day cleaning up the house with Aunt Pat and Uncle Will. It was SO nice to be back at the shore! It makes me so happy just being in that house. So many memories have been made there. Even though we were down there to get work done, it was still very soothing for me to just be by the ocean for the day.
I was feeling pretty good physically yesterday, so I set to work cleaning the venetian blinds. They had collected quite a bit of dust from the winter months, so I soaked each one in the tub, scrubbed them, and dried them. I was very proud of how they turned out, although it took me basically the entire day to get them all done. I need to learn to be a little less OCD with cleaning so I can accomplish things faster.
Aside from the cleaning, I got to enjoy some of my favorite Ocean City eats yesterday. Uncle Will picked up lunch for all of us at Kessel's Corner. I got a cheesesteak and fries, which were heavenly. I also made a trip over to Dot's Bakery and picked up some of their cream-filled donuts for everyone. As if that weren't enough unhealthy food for one day, we stopped at Creamland for ice cream on the drive home. It was truly a day of gluttony!
Once we arrived home, I got cleaned up and headed down to Newark with Dan to go dancing with some of our friends. The University of Delaware had their commencement ceremonies yesterday, so Main Street was packed with people celebrating. About 10 of us met up at Klondike Kate's bar and restaurant for their "80's Night" dance party. I'm not allowed to drink, of course, but most of you know I'm not much of a drinker anyway. We all had a great time enjoying the guilty pleasure music of the 80's: tons of Cyndi Lauper, Whitney Houston, Bon Jovi, Talking Heads, etc. I danced for most of the night, stopping for only a few breaks. Hopefully I worked off some of that fatty food from the beach! I was happy to see that I didn't feel worn down despite the busy day that I had. I hope I can continue to maintain a fairly active lifestyle like this in the coming months.
After a fantastic night with my friends, I came home and collapsed. I slept in rather late this morning, but I'm hoping to get a lot of cleaning done with what remains of the day. I still have quite a bit of unpacking to do with all that I brought home from college, so hopefully I can make a dent in that.
As for my post-chemo status, I've had a progressively worsening sore throat for the past few days that finally got too painful for me to ignore, so I called the oncology office this morning to see what I should do for it. The chemo drugs make my body produce less saliva, so I'm having a hard time swallowing things and I feel a lot of discomfort, especially when I first wake up. The fact that I'm also getting over a cold is probably complicating things as well. Dr. Biggs, who was on call, advised me to take my Tylenol/Codeine pills that I was prescribed for pain. They seem to have helped, thank goodness. Aside from that I am feeling great. With each good day that passes, I am more certain that everything is going to be just fine.
To Aunt Anna and Uncle Len: I would love to donate my red hair to Locks of Love so that it could be made into a wig for someone else, but unfortunately I had it cut to ear-length (the shortest I've ever gone!) just before I found out about the lymphoma. I suppose that's a blessing in disguise though. I'm getting used to having really short hair, so maybe that will ease the transition to having no hair. haha. In the past I have never grown my hair long enough to cut the 6 inches required for hair donation, but this experience has definitely made me want to do something like that in the future. A great suggestion :)
On that note, I definitely want to try to find some non-profit/community service type work to get involved with this summer. Perhaps the most important thing I learned during my years at Loyola is how much that kind of service benefits not only those that I'm serving, but me as well. It just feels so good to make even a small difference, and I have learned so much from seeing how others are able to overcome life's challenges. That has been something that has made this entire cancer experience much easier for me to face.
I keep thinking about the women I met during spring break outreach when I lived at My Sister's Place for the week. They slept out on the street each night without guarantee of food, shelter, or safety, and yet they greeted me with warm smiles and positive attitudes every morning. They really taught me a lot about facing things one day at a time and being thankful for each moment of life. Though they have few material possessions, they have much in terms of what is truly valuable: strong faith and true friends that see them through their daily struggles. They trust that God has a plan for them. Having seen this, I am doing my best to trust in God's plan for me as well.
I want to try to write individual responses to everyone who has left me messages on this journal, so watch for those in the coming entries. One very special thank you must go to my cousins Evan, Christian, and Molly for the wonderful cards that you made for me. They were the first thing that I received in the mail after my diagnosis, and I cannot tell you how much they meant to me. Evan's poem was absolutely beautiful. I want to share it with everyone on here because I love it so much. I hope you don't mind, Ev. It says "Roses are red, violets are blue, you remind me of a beautiful butterfly flying up so high in the sky." What a sweetheart. I look at those cards every day and smile :) You are the best cousins a girl could ask for!
I suppose I should get cracking on my cleaning before this medicine makes me too groggy. Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who is supporting me. I just can't say it enough. I love you all so much. Thank you for being with me on this journey.
-Lauren
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